What You Focus On

Have you noticed that the more you focus on a problem or mistake the more you repeat it?

That’s because your focus determines your output. 

What you focus your energy on is what you’ll produce. 

In other words, your behavior follows your mindset.

If you’re focused on not doing a particular thing, chances are you’re setting the stage for it to happen again. And again. And again. 

While taking things seriously and holding the line is important, so is focusing on the right things. 

Don't waste time and energy dwelling on the negative. Focus intently on the positive instead. 

There is a positive side to every problem you encounter. Focus on it. 

It is always better to be for something positive, than against something negative. 

Discipline your mind to think in this way. Discipline it to focus in the right direction. 

Change your thinking, and you’ll change your life. But as with everything else, that’s going to require discipline. 

How I Journal Daily

On Monday, we talked about how men and women throughout the ages have kept personal journals and three positive effects of daily journaling. If you missed it, run grab it so that you know where we are going today.

Today I want to help you establish journaling as a daily habit.

I'm sure that you've given journaling a shot once or twice before. Perhaps it didn't stick. Maybe you tried for a week or two, or maybe even three but eventually you stopped.

We usually fail to develop habits because we go about them unintentionally. We fail to think through the three main elements that matter. No matter the habit you are wanting to establish the three things you need to think through are: 

1. Time

Determine when you will journal. Ideally you would want to journal at the beginning of your day but in the end time of day isn't as important. Establish a time each day when you can retreat, think and write. Having a consistent time helps you in establishing a the habit as it becomes part of your routine. 

2. Place

Decide where you will journal. My wife has a favorite chair in our backyard that she enjoys spending her mornings in coffee in one hand and her journal in the other. Me, I prefer to sit in my office chair. No matter where you choose to write, pick a place and establish that as your daily journaling spot. Establishing a place helps root the habit to not just a time of day but also to a physical location. 

3. Plan

One of the most helpful ways to establish a journaling plan is to use a template. By using a template you'll remove the worry of what to write about. At first glance, this might appear confining but in reality it will create freedom. To create your very own journaling template spend some time thinking of a few questions that will help you process the day before, access how you are feeling & plan for the day ahead.

Not sure what questions to ask yourself? Below is an image of the journaling template I've been using.

My hand writing can be difficult to read at times so here are the eight questions I'm currently using:

Yesterday

1. What did I do yesterday? (hit the high notes. What do you want to remember?)
2. What lessons did I learn?

Now

3. What am I thankful for right now?
4. How am I feeling right now?

Today

5. What have I read in the last 24 hours? (record everything you've read since you last journaled. Maybe even a few important insights.)
6. What are my plans for today? (Review schedule and major tasks)
7. What one thing must I accomplish today?
8. Who will I see today and can I intentionally add value to their day?

Below is one of my real journal entries from the past few weeks. 

As you can see I ask myself the 8 questions and then write out my answers to each prompt. It is simple and helps me narrow my focus to the areas that really matter to me. If you're having difficulty coming up questions of your own, grab these and give them a try. Over time you will tweak the questions and eventually arrive at a template of your own.

7 Day Experiment: Establish a time, place and plan for journaling. Then give it a try for 7 days and let me know how it goes. 

Hard Conversations

We live in a broken, fallen world full of strife, difficulty and disagreement. We don't always get along with or agree with those around us. Maybe someone has done something that has hurt you financially, emotionally, or otherwise. You might feel bitter and you might be wounded, but things don't have to stay that way. 

Often the conversations you most dread are the ones you most need to have. There is something deep down inside us that knows exactly what we need to do. That feeling of dread or fear may not mean what you have always thought. Those knots in your stomach might not be telling you to run, but just might be confirming what you need to do. Whatever conversation has you scared, run towards it. Sure things could blow up in your face and go badly, but being willing to lean in and engage in tough conversations just might lead to outcomes you've only dreamed of.   

Tough conversations don't have to be negative or destructive. It can actually serve as an opportunity to strengthen your relationships and help you grow as an individual. If for no other reason, lean in and engage those you most fear. It has the potential to completely change everything. If you think about it in these terms, those tough conversations all of a sudden get a whole lot easier. 

Ok, you know you need to have a tough conversation but you aren't sure how. Here are a few quick hits that can help you master the art of the difficult conversation. 

Prepare your heart. This is the most challenging part of any difficult interchange. Before going to the other person pause and take a look at yourself. Search your own attitudes, words and actions. Many times you'll find that you've contributed far more to the relational strife your experiencing than you previously realized. Taking a swim in your own stuff will better prepare you to talk to someone else about theirs.

Plan out what you will say. Scripting your conversation may be impractical however, it is extremely helpful to spend some time processing not only what you will say but how you will say it. While the content of your message is important, method and tone are even more so. A helpful way to address tone and method is by how you would like to be confronted. One golden rule that won't steer you wrong is to be humble. A humble attitude smooths over a lot more than you realize. 

Lead With Your Weaknesses

You're not perfect. Whether it's sarcasam, responding out of anger or not delivering on your commitments, you make dozens of mistakes each and every day. The temptation to hide and minimize your mistakes is overwhelming because the first thing you want to do is run as far from them as possible. 

While this is your natural tendency it might not always be the best strategy for responding to failure. Our failures provide us with an opportunity to take giant steps forward and helps us connect with others. Today, I want to encourage you not to run from or hide your failures but to embrace and share them openly. 

Display your authentic self. Openly discussing your short comings and failures knocks down the dividing wall and allows others to connect with you. Whether you are aware of it or not there is a dividing wall between you and those you impact and lead. Often times that wall of division is the gap between who you truly are and others perception of you. The quickest way to shrink this gap is to authentically share your struggles and failures. The fear in doing so is that it will change how people see you. The funny thing is that this fear is 100% true. They will see you differently, just not in the way you fear they will. 

Part of the reason people lean in and see you more positively when you share your struggles is that they can relate. People aren't perfect and they know it. They already know you aren't perfect either and that you make mistakes because you're human. Opening up and leading with your weakness displays confidence not the lack there of. People will follow a leader who doesn't run from his short comings. 

Be known for owning your stuff. The next time you drop the ball or just blow it, seize it for the opportunity that it is and own it. Do far more than acknowledge that you messed up, ask those impacted by your failure to forgive you. Trust me, this is a trait you want to be known for. It displays a humble heart, empowers others and will transform your relationships.     

Your Not in Control

You want to be in control. You desire control over your surroundings and over all your outcomes in life so you work hard and put in long hours. Sleepless nights and caffine are the rent you pay and rent is due every day.

Hustling is important. One of the many traits that turns up time after time when studying the successful is that they run at a different pace than everyone else around them. In short, they hustle. No matter the field and no matter the role get after it. 

To acheive your dreams and accomplish your goals, you are going to have to work extremely hard but be careful not to buy the lie that everything rests within your grasp. 

You can't force results. No matter how many hours you put in or how hard you work you can't force success to happen. Many things are beyond your control. You can do everything right and the deal still doesn't go your way and that's okay. As I've said before, the power is in the process.   

You are responsible for the process. You are accoutable for doing your part. Do the things that accompany success. Order your habits, attidudes, and character. Show up early, remain diligent and stay late if you need you, but remember that those things are just part of the process.  

Find rest in your limits. Labor hard and hustle but also rest in the knowldege that results are ultimately outside your control. There is a certain level of peace that comes from knowing that you have given your all. Give your all and lay it all on the line every day and you'll be able to hold your head high whether the results come or not.