Capturing The Power In Small Moments

While in college I took part in an aptitude assessment. For two days they put problem after problem before me to see how I responded. It felt more like a game than series of tests until I reached one involving spacial awareness. The test was simple. They showed me a square block composed of several different pieces, like a puzzle. They would then have me turn around as they dissembled the block. After turning around they asked me to put it back together as they timed me. I couldn’t do it the way they wanted me to.

I kept “failing” the test because when faced with a complex problem, I broke it up into smaller ones. I made two different blocks out of the pieces and then put those two together. I couldn’t do it the other way, the “right” way, no matter how many chances they gave me.

This is how I solve complex problems, I break them up into smaller more manageable ones. I don’t try to eat a steak all in one bite, and I don’t attempt to tackle large goals or issues in one bite either. I chop them up into many smaller pieces, solve them and get to work putting them back together.

My wife and I do this as a team on a daily basis. Most divide most projects between the two of us. We split a wedding day evenly for instance. While she is capturing the bride getting ready, I’ll do the same for the guys. While she is shooting from the aisle, I am getting a different angle. While she is taking family pictures, I'm calling out names and lining up the next photo. At every moment and in every way we divide big things, like weddings, into small bite size chunks.

Chunking like this not only helps us do big projects at work, it also aids us in reaching large personal goals. No area is this more evident in my life than my reading habits. I determined to continue learning and growing the rest of my life many years ago. I read a lot as a result. I don't read with the prolific nature of Tim Challies—who reads over 100 books a year—or the determined spirit of Stephen King— who prescribes reading four to six hours a day—but, I still read more than a lot of people.

I read in the neighborhood of thirty books covering the span of the literary world each year. Some books stretch my mind, some inform my heart, and others show how stories get told. Regardless of the genre or style each page I turn helps me become whoever it is I’ll grow up to be.

The same could true for you. You don’t have to set aside hours for reading or take a speed reading course do the same feat. All you have to do is carve out small moments of focused effort.

Read in small bits here and there. I break it up into three small bite size bits. I read three pages when I wake up, three more over my lunch break, followed by three more before bed. That’s almost ten pages without breaking a sweat.

Why three pages? It’s a number so small, it’s not worth not doing. Why would I skimp on reading such a small number of pages? We look at the stack of books we want to read and chicken out before trying because it all seems too big. Three pages is a number so small in comparison, that it’s laughable not to take them on.   

The funny thing is I rarely stop at three pages per sitting. Once I’m deep in a book, there is little knowing how many pages I’ll end up turning. It varies day to day, but it’s far more than I’d read otherwise.

Hard Conversations

We live in a broken, fallen world full of strife, difficulty and disagreement. We don't always get along with or agree with those around us. Maybe someone has done something that has hurt you financially, emotionally, or otherwise. You might feel bitter and you might be wounded, but things don't have to stay that way. 

Often the conversations you most dread are the ones you most need to have. There is something deep down inside us that knows exactly what we need to do. That feeling of dread or fear may not mean what you have always thought. Those knots in your stomach might not be telling you to run, but just might be confirming what you need to do. Whatever conversation has you scared, run towards it. Sure things could blow up in your face and go badly, but being willing to lean in and engage in tough conversations just might lead to outcomes you've only dreamed of.   

Tough conversations don't have to be negative or destructive. It can actually serve as an opportunity to strengthen your relationships and help you grow as an individual. If for no other reason, lean in and engage those you most fear. It has the potential to completely change everything. If you think about it in these terms, those tough conversations all of a sudden get a whole lot easier. 

Ok, you know you need to have a tough conversation but you aren't sure how. Here are a few quick hits that can help you master the art of the difficult conversation. 

Prepare your heart. This is the most challenging part of any difficult interchange. Before going to the other person pause and take a look at yourself. Search your own attitudes, words and actions. Many times you'll find that you've contributed far more to the relational strife your experiencing than you previously realized. Taking a swim in your own stuff will better prepare you to talk to someone else about theirs.

Plan out what you will say. Scripting your conversation may be impractical however, it is extremely helpful to spend some time processing not only what you will say but how you will say it. While the content of your message is important, method and tone are even more so. A helpful way to address tone and method is by how you would like to be confronted. One golden rule that won't steer you wrong is to be humble. A humble attitude smooths over a lot more than you realize. 

Client Meetings

Regardless of your current profession meeting with people is one of the most important aspects of your success. Over the years you will share countless meals with people you are looking to influence and build healthy relationships with. Changing how you approach these situations can transform your results as well as your business. Today I discuss how you can run meetings that do far more than generate business. 

1. Take It Offline

The first step in building relationships and taking your game to the next level is to get personal. There is only so much you can do over the phone or email, at a certain point you need to meet face to face. When it comes time for that, pick up the phone or shoot them an email offering to treat them to coffee or a meal. Pick a place closer to them than to you. Begin developing the habit of putting their needs above you own, it will be invaluable.  

2. Personally Connect

The very best meetings are those where you connect on a personal level. Make your time together about them. Spend over 95% of your time asking good questions about the them and their story. It communicates that you genuinely care about them, are looking for common ground and value relationships over business. Connections are built on common ground. You will find that the better you become at connecting with people, the richer your life will be and the faster your business will grow.     

 3. Explain Your Process & Set Expectations

When you do broach the topic of business, use it to as an opportunity to establish expectations. Frustrations are born from unmet expectations. Everyone carries certain expectations with them through life. Sadly, these aren't always communicated and it reaks all kinds of havoc both personally and professionally. Why not use your client meeting to establish expectations for your future clients? Use it as a chance to share your process, answer their questions and roll back the curtain on your operation.  

 4. Follow Up

 As you may have heard, the money is in the follow up. The best habit you can develop is to follow through on the commitments you make durring the meeting. If you tell them you will send them an email containing certain information, send it to them. It does you no good to nail the meeting and then fail to follow through. One common way to follow up is to send a recap of your time together as well as any other information you discuss immediately following your meeting. This establishes trust and sets us up for a successful relationship. 

Clients meetings are often some of your biggest opportunities. Respect their time by doing them well. You just might find that some of your best meetings yield not only some of your best clients but some of your best friends in the process. 

Developing a "Stop Doing" List

Most lead lives full of activity and lacking discipline. "To do" lists are overwhelming and ever growing. They are filled with wasteful activities, "we just have to do", that drain us of energy, steal our time and keep us from chasing truly great opportunities. 

Enter the idea of the "Stop Doing" list. 

A "stop doing" list in its most basic form is a list of the things that you and / or your team are going to stop doing.  

The solution to your crazy schedule and consequently a crazy task list isn't just another list but the process of evaluating exactly what you are doing each day. A "stop doing" list helps you take a cold hard look at what you are doing and literally stop doing those things that are not the most fruitful for you and your team.  

Like much of life, the power is in the process. 

How do you determine which activities are worth doing? Putting together a "stop doing" list begins by taking a hard look at your task list and asking yourself a series of questions.

1. What is the purpose of this task? It is always helpful to begin with the end in mind. To ask yourself the five year old's favorite question, why? Why is this item even on your "to do" list? What was it's origional purpose? Why are you doing each particular task? Purpose matters especially when it comes to the tasks that cosume your time. If the ultimate purpose of a task isn't worth the time, energy and resources it consumes ditch it. 

2. What outcomes does this task produce? Every task you perform produces an outcome. What is the result of doing each item on your list? What fuit does it produce? Make note of the outcomes your work produces. If what you are doing isn't producing good results that are helping you achieve your goals, it is probably something wasting your time.    

3. If I did not already do this, would I do it? Thinking about starting over often helps provide clarity. There are any number of things you do each day that were once great and needed items but whose time has passed. Honestly evaluate each and every item as if it were a new idea even if you've been doing it for years. Just because its the way things have always been done isn't a good enough reason to keep something on your to do list. You have too much going on for wasteful tasks born of tradition.  

4. Does it fall in my area of strength? Focus on what you do best. A stop doing list allows you to focus on your strengths. Stop doing things you're not best equipped to do. Chances are that even if the task is worth doing, someone else around you might be better suited to perform it.