Defining Success

How you define success is critically important. 

Focus on things within your control, not circumstances over which you have none. 

Winning, for example, is something you have little control over. Other competitors and external factors could derail your chances. 

You’ll be crushed if things don’t pan out. Worse still, you won’t reach your full potential. You’ll be focused on beating the next guy’s potential instead of your own. 

Doing your absolute best, however, is fully within your control. You can do something about it. 

Define success in these terms. Define it by your level of effort instead of a scoreboard.

Of course, effort means nothing if you haven’t prepared. 

Make giving full effort to preparation part of your definition of success.

Redefine success to mean giving maximum effort every day to everything in your life—family, friends, work, training, helping others, etc.  

Do this and you’ll walk away a winner no matter what the scoreboard says. 

Today's Enemy And Tomorrow's Friend

While reading books, blog posts and trying to learn in general, one comes across sentences and ideas that bear particular relevance to the present. This can be remarkably stunning when the persons involved are long dead. What’s captured in those moments is the essence of human nature. That collection of values and principles hard wired into our very souls. 

Respect is one of the many shared and treasured values of mankind. You find it in every culture and people group throughout history. Respect for one’s elders. Respect for one’s family. Respect for one’s self. Respect even for one’s enemies.  

“From Cyrus through Alexander,” Steven Pressfield said, “to the Greeks and Romans and on down to Rommel and the Afrika Korps, today’s enemy was considered tomorrow’s potential friend—and thus granted his full humanity.” 

Said another way, today’s enemy should be seen a likely friend tomorrow—and treated with both dignity and respect.

How do we measure up? Are we succeeding in treating our enemies respectfully? 

It seems we are far too quick to demonize and dehumanize our rivals. 

How can we unite, work together and be friends again after such brutal attacks? 

Who wins if everyone only serves to ratchet things up in a never ending game of one-ups-manship?

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves a blind and slobbery world in the end.

I’m for ratcheting things down, lowering the temperature and introducing respect back into the conversation. 

Because the other game isn’t one we should be playing in the first place. 

It requires discipline to hold your tongue and to listen instead of speaking. It takes discipline to control your emotions and respond instead of react. 

Engage discipline. Bring it to bear on your conversations with your enemy. In the end, it might save more than your neck. It might just save your country as well. 
 

5 Ways We Want to Improve Our Marriage in 2017

The road to personal growth isn’t one you walk alone. It requires the company of others willing to both encourage and call you out when needed. Sadly, few relationships grow into something this deep and real. Most are content to swim on the surface, lacking the courage to take a deep breath and plunge into the depths of what’s really going on.

True friends like this are in short supply. When you find one, hang onto it with all you’ve got. Nourish it, water it and most of all thank God for it. Real, true, deep friendships are some of His greatest blessings. These are the people you can call no matter the hour, who will help you carry life’s burdens no matter how heavy and who’ll celebrate victories with you no matter how small.

Friends are as equally valuable to your craft as they are to your personal life. We need people to lock arms and run with. People to tell us our work is horrible and help us fix it. People who understand what we’re trying to do and help us get there.

Scott Kedersha has been this type of friend. His willingness to jump into this great writing adventure with me has been a gift. Scott has challenged me, pointed me towards great resources, and made me want to be a better writer. Each time I sit at the keyboard his voice fills the back of my mind, encouraging me to hit the keys until something comes out.

I have the opportunity to have written a guest post for his blog today. In it I discuss 5 ways Hannah and I want to improve our marriage this year. If we’ve learned anything in our almost 5 years of marriage, it’s that you have to work hard to have a good marriage. They don’t just happen. You have to put in the time, be intentional and pray like crazy.

Please go check it out on ScottKedersha.com

I’d love to hear a few ways you’d like to improve your marriage this year as well. Share them in the comments below.  

Lead With Your Weaknesses

You're not perfect. Whether it's sarcasam, responding out of anger or not delivering on your commitments, you make dozens of mistakes each and every day. The temptation to hide and minimize your mistakes is overwhelming because the first thing you want to do is run as far from them as possible. 

While this is your natural tendency it might not always be the best strategy for responding to failure. Our failures provide us with an opportunity to take giant steps forward and helps us connect with others. Today, I want to encourage you not to run from or hide your failures but to embrace and share them openly. 

Display your authentic self. Openly discussing your short comings and failures knocks down the dividing wall and allows others to connect with you. Whether you are aware of it or not there is a dividing wall between you and those you impact and lead. Often times that wall of division is the gap between who you truly are and others perception of you. The quickest way to shrink this gap is to authentically share your struggles and failures. The fear in doing so is that it will change how people see you. The funny thing is that this fear is 100% true. They will see you differently, just not in the way you fear they will. 

Part of the reason people lean in and see you more positively when you share your struggles is that they can relate. People aren't perfect and they know it. They already know you aren't perfect either and that you make mistakes because you're human. Opening up and leading with your weakness displays confidence not the lack there of. People will follow a leader who doesn't run from his short comings. 

Be known for owning your stuff. The next time you drop the ball or just blow it, seize it for the opportunity that it is and own it. Do far more than acknowledge that you messed up, ask those impacted by your failure to forgive you. Trust me, this is a trait you want to be known for. It displays a humble heart, empowers others and will transform your relationships.     

Client Meetings

Regardless of your current profession meeting with people is one of the most important aspects of your success. Over the years you will share countless meals with people you are looking to influence and build healthy relationships with. Changing how you approach these situations can transform your results as well as your business. Today I discuss how you can run meetings that do far more than generate business. 

1. Take It Offline

The first step in building relationships and taking your game to the next level is to get personal. There is only so much you can do over the phone or email, at a certain point you need to meet face to face. When it comes time for that, pick up the phone or shoot them an email offering to treat them to coffee or a meal. Pick a place closer to them than to you. Begin developing the habit of putting their needs above you own, it will be invaluable.  

2. Personally Connect

The very best meetings are those where you connect on a personal level. Make your time together about them. Spend over 95% of your time asking good questions about the them and their story. It communicates that you genuinely care about them, are looking for common ground and value relationships over business. Connections are built on common ground. You will find that the better you become at connecting with people, the richer your life will be and the faster your business will grow.     

 3. Explain Your Process & Set Expectations

When you do broach the topic of business, use it to as an opportunity to establish expectations. Frustrations are born from unmet expectations. Everyone carries certain expectations with them through life. Sadly, these aren't always communicated and it reaks all kinds of havoc both personally and professionally. Why not use your client meeting to establish expectations for your future clients? Use it as a chance to share your process, answer their questions and roll back the curtain on your operation.  

 4. Follow Up

 As you may have heard, the money is in the follow up. The best habit you can develop is to follow through on the commitments you make durring the meeting. If you tell them you will send them an email containing certain information, send it to them. It does you no good to nail the meeting and then fail to follow through. One common way to follow up is to send a recap of your time together as well as any other information you discuss immediately following your meeting. This establishes trust and sets us up for a successful relationship. 

Clients meetings are often some of your biggest opportunities. Respect their time by doing them well. You just might find that some of your best meetings yield not only some of your best clients but some of your best friends in the process.