Pursuing Humility

Humility doesn’t get enough press these days.

Which is understandable, when you consider that it is the antithesis of what the world wants. 

The world is focused on getting more. 

More money, more fame, more everything. 

That’s not a game worth spending your precious life pursuing. 

It’s a rat race designed to confuse and distract from what’s going on around you. 

It is a race designed to cement your focus on yourself. 

Take a different road. 

Seek humility by caring for others, extending them grace, and loving them more than you love yourself.

It’s not an easy road, and you won’t walk it perfectly. 

But it’s worth your effort. 

In fact, it’s worth spending a lifetime pursuing.

Humility

Humility is essential to success. 

It’s almost impossible to get there without it. 

You have to be willing make an honest assessment of yourself, to learn and to ask for help. 

Each requires humility. 

Be humble. 

Take stock of where you’re weak and own the problems and solutions. 

Ask for help along the way. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. 

Humble yourself and seek to improve in every area of your life. 

There are no finished products this side of Heaven. Embrace this truth and it’ll change everything. 

21 Leadership Lessons Learned From Reading Extreme Ownership

“The only meaningful measure for a leader,” Jocko Willink said, “is whether the team succeeds or fails. For all the definitions, descriptions, and characteristics of leaders, there are only two that matter: effective and ineffective. Effective leaders lead successful teams that accomplish their mission and win. Ineffective leaders do not.” 

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Leadership and leaders are a hot topic. Talk to anyone on the street and they want to be a better and more effective leader. Not everyone will define good leadership the same, but all want to be effective. All want to win. 

I’m little different. I want to win at work, at home and in every area of life. I’m willing to take extreme steps to avoid losing, and to secure a victory. I want to exude drive, discipline, and focus. In short, I want to be the leader Jocko Willink and Lief Babbin describe in Extreme Ownership. 

Ask my wife and she'll tell you how obsessed I am with this book and Jocko’s podcast. I love their philosophy and take on leadership and am compelled to share a glimpse into why with you here. 

What follows is a list of twenty-one things I'm learning from both sources.

  1. Discipline equals freedom. This starts each day when the alarm clock goes off. In many ways, it’s the first test of the day, it sets the tone. If you get up, you win. If you don’t, you fail. Discipline starts with the little things and is the difference between good and exceptional.
  2. Check your ego. The most difficult ego to deal with is your own. 
  3. Own everything around you. Take responsibility. Look at yourself first whenever trouble arises. Your team not performing well? It's your fault, own it. Rather than blame others, figure out a way to better communicate so they understand. Instead of complaining about your boss, take ownership of problems and lead. Support your boss. Take responsibility for communicating in the right way.
  4. Be humble. Admit shortcomings and failures. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong or at least that the potential for being wrong exists. "Winning in daily battles," Jocko said, "gives you the opportunity to deflect credit, show your humbleness in victory and show your ability to lead. Which all help you in the long-term fight to achieve your goals. Losing a battle gives you the opportunity to generously cede your position, admit your wrong, which both display humbleness, and display your ability to follow. Winning or losing isn’t as important as how you react to winning or losing." 
  5. Believe what you say. If you don’t, ask questions until you understand and find belief in what must be done. You can't expect others to buy-in to an idea you yourself don't believe in.
  6. Explain the why behind things. Help people understand not just what you want them to do, but the goals and reasons why. Help them understand the intention. 
  7. What you tolerate is more important than what you say. "If substandard performance is accepted," Jocko said, "and no one is held accountable—if there are no consequences—that poor performance becomes the new standard."
  8. Never be satisfied. Always strive to improve and build that mindset into those you lead. There are no finished products this side of the grave. 
  9. Go on offense. It is always better to go on offense than to sit back and play defense. Be proactive rather than reactive.
  10. Cover and move. "Work well with others," Jocko said, "Support them and help them win. Make them part of your team. Stay close enough, physically and relationally that you can move to support and help one another."
  11. Simplify as much as possible. Complexity compounds issues when things spiral out of control, which they will.
  12. Detach from the situation. "Detach yourself," Jocko said, "when you start getting worked up and ask yourself, 'why?' then regain control of yourself." Detachment is a common theme on the podcast, one that sounds both difficult, and rewarding. 
  13. Prioritize your problems and take care of them one at a time, focusing on the highest priority first.
  14. Empower other leaders to go get it done. Give simple, clear, concise orders that are easily understood by everyone. Allow people to take initiative and make decisions. "They must know you have their back," Jocko said, "even if they make a bad call, as long as the call was made in an effort to achieve the objective."
  15. Develop standard operating procedures. 
  16. Have a system for planning. Have a repeatable checklist of all the important things they need to think about.
  17. Make decisions. Be decisive. Be aggressive.
  18. Don’t burn bridges. "Nothing is gained by this." Jocko said, "The future is unknown, and you should always do what you can to maintain lines of communication, bridges intact and reinforced if possible. Do not pursue a course of action that can not be undone, reversed or manipulated in the future."
  19. Don’t be emotional. Don’t lose control of them. If you can’t control your emotions what can you control? Take control of your emotions. "They don’t get a vote," Jocko said. Impose your will upon them; discipline, mind control, and drive. Don’t let them control you, control them.
  20. Be the best at everything you do. Put in the time, energy and effort required. Hustle hard, and outwork everyone.
  21. Listen and seek to understand what other people tell you. 

This is the man I want to be. These are the principles I want to fuse to the very core of my being. I want them to ooze out of me like sweat during a workout. 

Why am I drawn to these principles? Why do they suck me in like a moth to a flame?

The simple answer is that they reflect the biblical worldview and scriptural principles. God’s word calls His people to behave and respond to the world around them in the same way. They are an ideal worthy of our pursuit and one I want to run after. 

Turning 30: Three Men Who've Had A Profound Influence

The guy walked through the door. Suddenly the sounds of honking horns, engines revving, and brakes squeaking was replaced by the gentle hum of voices in mid-conversation, plates and glasses clinking and the soft tones of music playing in the background. It was a coffee shop off a crowded city street, just like dozens of others he'd been in over the years. The room was dark and on the walls hung pictures and paintings of various kinds. Some were extremely good, but others not so much. The baristas were working feverishly behind the counter, calling out "tall hazelnut mocha" as the sweet aroma of freshly ground coffee beans wafted through the air. For a moment, maybe two, he stood still just inside the door taking it all in. It wasn't a large place so as his eyes adjusted from the glaring brightness of the afternoon sun to the gloom of the coffee shop, he saw his mark.

At a table nearer the back than the front, sits a thin man checking email on his phone. He was a tall man, though you couldn't tell with him seated. His eyes were blue, and his hair once a chestnut brown had begun to fade in to the chalky grey of middle age. As the first man drew near, he put down his phone and stood to greet him with a warm shimmering smile and a hearty handshake. "How's it going? I was just about to order myself some coffee, would you like something?"  "No, I'm ok today, but thanks for the offer."

Not two moments later, the two men were lost in conversation, with the younger gentlemen scribbling copious notes in a moleskin notebook. They bounced from topic to topic with the frequency and velocity of a pinball. What had begun with casual discussions of what was going on in their world, had taken a more serious turn. 

You meet thousands of people throughout the course of your life, however relatively few of them impact you deeply. The ones who do open your eyes, challenge your assumptions, make you think, and shape who you become.

Over the last 30 years there have been several people who have had this type of impact on me but today I'd like to focus on the three who's impact has and continues to be deepest and most transformational.

Jon Flaming - Inspired by the great masters of the brush and lens, Jon lends his immense talents to telling the stories of life, culture and adventure all across this great land we call Texas. The soothing yellows, blues and burnt oranges of the southwest are his pallete, as if you're watching one of his favorite classic westerns starring John Wayne. Not unlike the star of such classic films as The Searchers, this Jon stands tall, walks a straight line and isn't afraid to hang in there for a tough conversation. He humbly serves, encourages and befriends just about everyone he meets. Jon Waid Flaming, is a man quite unlike any other I've had the pleasure of knowing. While not possessing a loud, bombastic personality he garners respect no matter the room he enters.

Matt Hummel - 140 characters. Sometimes that's all it takes. In a world so fast paced and obsessed with reducing everything to the bare minimum 140 characters might be all it takes to change a life. One tweet, that's all it took to connect a young man searching for guidance with a guide to show him the way. After email exchanges and text messages they finally gathered around the kitchen table with Bibles open and pen in hand to read, discuss, learn and grow. In truth it takes a lot more than 140 characters. It takes a willingness to be open, to ask good questions and to guide more than instruct. It takes a man who loves Jesus so deeply that he can't not pour into other men. 

Bobby Crotty - It was a long bus ride headed somewhere new and adventuresome. The seats where cloth and slightly comfortable. Most students sat reading books, flipping through magazines or sleeping. One group of students however, was making the best use of their time. I'm sure they didn't know it at the time, but that long bus ride would have a shaping influence on their lives. Bobby Crotty was among the young students who say enthralled with the wisdom, insights and encouragement of Sally Stout those long hours and it marked him. Fast forward several years and a successful law career, Bobby sits around the table with young men much like himself not too long ago. He opens God's word, asks probing & insightful questions and points them to truth. Now serving as the Men's Equipping Director at a local church, Bobby invests his time in helping men be more like Christ.

While each of these three men is unique and vastly different from the other two, they each share a collection of qualities that I believe have led to their impact not just on my life but countless of others.

Tethered to God's word. The Bible is their guide. These men do not run on feelings, that is to say that the course of their lives is not driven by emotions but by the timeless, unchanging word of God. It is their guide and they have invested some serious time in its study. They are serious about scripture memorization. If there is one thing I've learned over the years, it's that memorizing God's word doesn't happen by accident. It takes diligence and intentionality. These men each display a care and concern for their souls and know that leading others begins with leading themselves, of which time in God's word is tantamount. 

Challenge you to think.  The Lord gave us a brain and these men challenge others to use theirs. Rather than passively riding through life, we each should make use of the brain the good Lord gave us to consider life and all it entails. There are few better ways to engage the mind than by the use of a good, timely question. Questions are the currency of the wise, and these men are wealthy beyond measure. They routinely ask good, tough questions that get the "little grey cells" going.  

Their practice matches their preaching. There is a consistency to their life. They don't say one thing and do another. They live by the very words they encourage others with. This type of consistency only serves to strengthen the power of their words. Character matters and these men have it in spades.

While direct and unafraid to ask the pointed or difficult question, each of these men is humble, tender and kind. These men are not in your face, aggressive, instead these men have cultivated attitudes of genuine humility. They speak with a gentle tone that instantly communicates their care and concern for you. They exude a calm, confidence rooted in their identity in Christ that interjects a humbleness into their life. I may be over using the word humble and its derivatives here, but I can think of no better way to sum up the flavor of their lives.

Nothing impacts your life like the people surrounding you.  It's been said that we are the average of the people we spend the most time with. If that is true, and there is serious evidence to it being so, I leave you with this encouragement, get people like this in your life. If you want any shot of being the man or women you long to be, you'll need men and women in your life who exude these same qualities and spur you on. 

 

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.

Books serve as the gateway of learning that allows people we have never met to impact us and the people we become. As Betty Southward said, "Books are wonderful mentors. They are available at any hour of the day or night." One recent book that has been impacting me deeply is Brad Lomenick's H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle. This books has been a gem to read and I am certain it will continue to work me over the years to come.

"Lead yourself. How can you attempt to lead others until you embrace this simple truth? Brad Lomenick is one of the good guys and he's generously sharing what he's learned in his own journey." - Seth Godin, author, The Icarus Deception

"Hungry. Humble. Hustle. Those three words are Brad Lomenick's mantra, and they characterize just about every quality, hard-charging, effective leader I know. When it comes to Brad's H3 Leadership, though, I'd add one more H: HOW. This book is your how-to when it comes to leading your organization. Don't miss it." - Dave Ramsey, New York Times bestselling author and nationally syndicated radio host

"A practical resource for leaders at all level." - Adam Grant, Wharton professor and New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take

How do we develop and grow into effective leaders? 

Brad Lomemick's most recent book provides us the answers and blueprints we seek. H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle. has rarely departed my side these past few weeks. 

  • Want to get promoted and take your career to the next level?
  • Want to increase your influence and impact in your current role? 
  • Want a road map to put knowledge into practice? 

Want to up your game, no matter where you are? This book is your guide. 

The Audible version of this book can be found here. 

This post includes: 

  • A brief overview of the book
  • 10 of my favorite quotes
  • Three interviews with Brad Lomenick discussing H3 Leadership and more

Perhaps your in a hurry and the length of this post looks daunting. Here is the synopsis of the book in one sentence: Becoming a better leader is all about the habits you develop, in H3 Leadership Brad Lomenick walks you through 20 critical habits that can transform your life and leadership. 

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry, Always Hustle. distills a career's worth of lessons learned into what is sure to be the next great leadership resource. 


A Brief Overview

One of my favorite aspects of Brad's book is that he approaches leadership from the standpoint of habit development saying, "The path to being a better leader is paved with the asphalt of the habits we develop." I don't know about you but I immediatly resonate with that sentiment. When I look at my life much of what I do is the result of my habits rather than concious decisions. If this is true, and I believe that it is, developing the right habits can transform your life, not to mention help you become the leader & human you want to be. Throughout H3 Ledership, Brad draws your attention to the qualities of great leaders and then teases out how you can develop the same habits in your life.

Todd Wagner is famous for saying that, "If you want to change the world, draw a circle around yourself and change everything inside the circle. Then invite other people into that circle." Brad picks up on this theme and opens by focusing on self work by encouraging readers to create, "intentional rhythms whereby one observes who he is, listens to his life, and strives to define himself apart from his professional assignments." This is huge because the temptation to find at least part of your identity in what you do is powerful. Here Brad provides a road map to developing rhythms to learn how you are wired. Among my favorite is his encouragement to keep a list of what you think makes you who you are, things that engergizes you, and give you a sense of purpose. As the work of self mastery continues openness, meekness, conviction, faith and assignment form the tapistry. The most important person a leader must lead is himself and the first six chapters of H3 Leadership set you up to do just that.     

If being humble is about knowing who you are, then staying hungry is certainly about knowing where you want to go. After years of languishing in agony and unhealthy imbalance Brad comes riding in to rescue our misconception of ambition. Brad helps us see that the posture of a properly ambitious person is "Never satisfied, but always content..." There is a proper context to our ambition and a road map for how we become the leader we want to be. A large component of that is staying hungry for knowledge. We all want to learn and grow when we first start out, but its those who remain curious who win in the end because they understand that, "If you're not learning, you're not leading to your full potential." Brad's chapter on curiosity was by far my favorite chapter and is included below as a quick sample. Here Brad discusses cultivating the habits of passion, innovation, inspiration and bravery as he helps you develop a taste for what life could be like if you mastered storytelling, facing down your fears and improve upon the status quo.  

In his closing section Brad shows you how to get to your destination by setting scary standards of excellence, serving others, sticking with things and nurturing healthy ryhtums. Where most pull back and skimp over the hard realities of leadership, Brad dives right in confronting our notions of excellence, discipline and team building. But he doesn't stop there, he gives you a road map back on course. After all, leaders have an incredible opportunity to impact lives. The good ones not only understand this, but lean into it. They've learned the secret that all great leaders know. "..their fruit most often grows on other people's trees." 

Brad brings his fastball with H3 Leadership. It's chalked full of helpful tips to establish new patterns and cultivate habits that not only help you win at work but in life as well.  


10 Awesome Quotes  

There's no avoiding it: the patterns we cultivate shape the person we each become. Unfortunately, most people aren't intentional about the habits they're developing.

• Ask serious questions during conversations with others. Relational depth often emerges from intentional dialogue.

• Authentic leaders must have the strength to admit when they've made a mistake and take the steps to fix it.

• ...an influencer's unguarded greatest strength is also his or her greatest weakness - and therefore turns into his or her greatest temptation. Your best can bring you down. 

• Failure is crucial for innovation to actually become second nature for your team. If you're not failing, you're not risking enough.

• Do something every day that you weren't asked or told to do.

• Your twenties establish your seventies.

• Leadership is a choice, not a position. Be the leader you wish you had.

• Margin creates moments; it makes life more meaningful. Margin creates space for magic to happen. 

• The generous leader gives people what they truly want: knowledge, power, information, credit, praise, responsibility, and authority. 

If you want to take your life and leadership to the next level, H3 Leadership just might be the book you need to get in your hand. Tangible and highly applicational H3 Leadership has the potential to impact your life in some profound ways. 


Recent Interviews with Brad Lomenick

Hearing someone's voice can help us connect and understand them in a whole new way. Below I have included three great interviews featuring Brad. He shares extremely helpful value in each interview, so grab your headphones, pop them in and give these a listen. 

Brad discussing H3 Leadership on The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast

In this interview Brad shares three essential components it takes to lead in today's culture. This one is a little long but Brad shares some awesome insights here that will be well worth your time. 

Brad on 5 Leadership Questions 

Here Brad discusses his journey, leading himself as well as others. Much of this discussion allows Brad to place the principles found in H3 Leadership within a real world context. 

Brad on the EntreLeadership Podcast

Brad expounds on the habits you need to get more done in this conversation with Ken Coleman.