Communication

Emotion, poor behavior patterns, and ego are the enemy. We tend to allow these forces to determine how we deal with the world, and this shouldn’t be so. We’ve got to take the fight to them. Instead of focusing our efforts and energy on controlling the outside world, we need to focus on controlling the world within ourselves. 

The greatest battle we fight is the battle within. Imposing your will upon your emotions and subduing them is the path to the path to victory. 

Instead of getting aggressive with other people, get aggressive with yourself. Get in your own grill. Be harsh and unrelenting, not on others, but on you. Hold yourself to insane standards and force yourself meet them.

That fight can be as simple as a shift in mindset. 

One shift, is to change how we think about communication.

All of us engage in unsound, and ineffective communication patterns. We raise our voice, speak instead of listening and stumble into silly arguments. Improving how we communicate is imperative. There’s too much riding on it not to. 

Pursuing Humility

Humility doesn’t get enough press these days.

Which is understandable, when you consider that it is the antithesis of what the world wants. 

The world is focused on getting more. 

More money, more fame, more everything. 

That’s not a game worth spending your precious life pursuing. 

It’s a rat race designed to confuse and distract from what’s going on around you. 

It is a race designed to cement your focus on yourself. 

Take a different road. 

Seek humility by caring for others, extending them grace, and loving them more than you love yourself.

It’s not an easy road, and you won’t walk it perfectly. 

But it’s worth your effort. 

In fact, it’s worth spending a lifetime pursuing.

Asking for permission

You’re going to have to tell people things they don’t want to hear. 

Maybe they did something to offend or hurt you, or perhaps you’ve noticed something in their life that is out of whack and needs addressing. 

Whatever the reason, your love, and care for others will require you to have hard conversations. 

How you go about doing so is paramount. 

One of the best sets of questions comes from Scott Kedersha who will ask, “Can I share something with you?” or “Can I give you some feedback on some things I have seen in you?”

That’s exactly how you approach a difficult conversation. 

Conversations go smoother when you lead by asking permission to share hard things. 

Sadly, people more often choose the opposite approach. 

Be different and stand out from the crowd. 

Care and love enough not only to have the hard conversation but to do so with a soft and gentle touch.

‘You catch more flies with honey’ as they say. 

Feelings are a tricky thing.

They can simultaneously be your best friend and your worst enemy. As with most things, there is a dichotomy. There are two paths to how you treat your emotions. 

One puts too much stock in them and believes them good guides for decision making etc. 

The second sees them as triggers. They use them as sign posts that tell them to get in the game and change how they behave. 

Negative emotions like anger, fear, or frustration alert you to a problem within your own heart and mind. These feelings serve as warning sirens that give you the chance to change paths before things get ugly and out of hand.   

It’s a small distinction, but an important one. 

One uses these feelings as the basis for behavior, while the other allows the same feelings to trigger better and more controlled responses. 

Changing how you look at something changes everything, even when that change is something small and noticeable only within your mind. 

Go First

Discipline doesn’t sit back and wait for someone or something else to make the first move. 

It moves.

It goes first. 

It's bold enough to step forward and have tough conversations, to do the hard things on the to-do list, and to offer a helping hand. 

Seize the initiative. 

Step up and be bold. 

Be the one to go first.