Your Custom Text Here
Discipline doesn’t sit back and wait for someone or something else to make the first move.
It moves.
It goes first.
It's bold enough to step forward and have tough conversations, to do the hard things on the to-do list, and to offer a helping hand.
Seize the initiative.
Step up and be bold.
Be the one to go first.
I want to do my very best to ensure that my blog does the best possible job of attending to your needs and interests. Which means I need to know more about you. In order to get to know you better, I've created my 2015 Reader Survey.
Would you please take a few minutes to fill out the survey? By doing so, you will be helping me create content even more interesting and helpful to you.
Your input is important to me. The survey is easy to fill out, and the results are 100% anonymous. I will be unable to tell who says what. And it can be finished in less than five minutes.
Thank you in advance for your help!
Over the last few weeks I have been having trouble sleeping. When up way past my bed time, I like to pull out my headphones and relisten to sermons and talks as I try to drift off to sleep. Such was the case last night (this morning) as I dialed up Ted Lowe's talk from Watermark's Uncommon Marriage Conference. Ted dropped some solid gold on the topic of tone that has implications far beyone just marriage.
What is tone? In short, tone can be defined as our overall posture and attitude towards others.
It's rarely discussed, but vitally important. Today I want to help you be mindful of your tone by discussing a few insights from Ted Lowe.
1. It's not really the big things that get us into trouble, it's often the small things. We know this to be true because we tend to fight over some pretty silly things. In those moments the topic isn't the problem, tone is. We bow up. We raise our voice. We shoot back snippy and snide remarks. Knowing tone is more important than the content of our words is a huge advantage. If you want to stand out at work or just in life in general, keep watch over your tone.
2. Tone is a choice. No matter how upset or hurt we are we still have the ability to control how you respond, you just might often choose to respond unkindly. Recognize that you have the ability to make choices about your behavoir, beginning with your tone. Instead of passively allowing words and emotion to drip from your lips, actively choose your responses. It's not easy and will be a life long battle, but it's one worth fighting.
3. Asking others helps us become aware of our tone. Sometimes you aren't aware of your tone. You're too caught up in the emotion of the moment. A sign of maturity is to ask other people to help you evaluate your tone. It's a scary thing and you probably won't like what you hear, but it will help you grow. Ask your supervisor or others close to you, "What's my tone when things go wrong?" Ask and thank them for the information. Don't under estimate the value of other people who can help you see things in yourself and change.
This is part of being a leader. Leaders consider their tone and adjust it when necessary.
I love to read. There are few things I enjoy more than kicking back with cold glass of sweet tea in one hand and a book in the other. Reading shapes who we become by opening our minds to new thoughts, to new ideas and to a whole new world.
Last week I mentioned how important reading is to our personal growth. While personal growth encompasses many things the foundation is often a good book. With so much riding on our commitment to read here are three steps to help you in developing a reading habit.
1. Determine what you will read
Reading for personal growth requires a degree of intentionality. Wondering aimlessly down the aisle of your local book store or public library most likely won't get you where you want to go. No, you must make decisions about what you will read with a direction and purpose in mind. One great way to go about this is by establishing some categories in which you want to read and then selecting books within each category.
For example, you may choose to read leadership, marketing, spiritual growth and fiction. While there may be some overlap in categories and you may add books to your list throughout the year, try to determine what you will read at the beginning of the year. The beginning of your new reading year can be right now if you let it. Simply pick a few categories in which you want to learn and grow, establish a list of books in each category you think would be helpful and get after it.
2. Determine when you will read
Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day yet some achieve amazing results many can only dream of. Maybe they read two books a week or a hundred in a year. Whatever the remarkable accomplishment they achieve, you have the same number of hours each day as they do. These hours will be swallowed up by anything and everything other than reading if you let it. Often that time thief is our TV. So turn it off, pick up your next book and read 10 pages per day.
3. Involve others
Involving other people can be extremely helpful. When you have other people you know are going to hold us accountable, you tend to show up and do the things you commit to doing. Start a book club or simply share your reading plan with a friend and ask them to check in on you.
Do you want to succeed in life? Do you want to leave a legacy behind you? Do you want to build a successful business or career? These and almost anything else you desire to find in life can be achomplisehd if you will do just one simple thing, value people.
That's it. It really is that simple.
If you will shift your focus away from trying to chase down and acheive what you want, and instead focus on how you can help others, it changes everything.
People's greatest need is to be valued.
People want someone to take notice of them. To look them in the eye and ask them about their day. To listen to them. To treat them with kindness, decency and love. People know when you value them and they can tell when you don't.
"The path to being a better leader is paved with the asphalt of the habits we develop" - Brad Lomenick.
Developing a few intentional habits can help you grow in how you value other people and completely change everything for you.
Pray for people. It is hard to dislike those you prayer for. One of the quickest ways to change how you feel about someone is to pray for them. Ask the Lord to work in their life, to give you a love for them, to use them to reveal to you where you need to grow, and to draw them closer to Himself.
Talk to people. The fastest way to get to know someone is a conversation. Sadly, people are having real face to face conversations less and less. Don't give in to the pressure to hide behind your key board. Go talk to people. Invite them to meet you for coffee, join you for lunch or the big game. Listen to what they tell you, laugh often and have fun.
Be an encourager. There is so much power in your words. Power to wound and power to heal. There are far too many people using their words to wound and hurt. Be a person who uses their words to lovingly encourage and uplift others. Compliment and celebrate others as often as you can.
Look people in the eye, stick out your hand & smile. Statistics say that the average person will meet 80,000 people in their life time. That's a staggering amount of people. With so many opportunities to meet new people, one of the best habits you can develop is the habit of warmly greeting everyone you meet. Never underestimate the power of a genuine smile.
Walk slow. Instead of rushing from place to place and task to task. Slow down life's pace a little. Chances are you don't have to move at a break neck pace all the time. Slow it down a little and allow yourself to connect with those around you. Be open and invite other people in.
The quickest path to finding the success you want in life or business can be found in loving and valuing people.