Fear

Fear can be a real killer. 

It can kill your drive, your passion, and your desire.

Fear can rob you of all these things and much more. 

Far from being some distant enemy in the world out there, fear attacks from within. 

It sneaks up on you uninvited and unnoticed and whispers lie after lie into your ear. 

“You’ll never make it.”

“You don’t have what it takes.”

“That’s too heavy for you”

“It’s going to be too hard” 

“You should just give up”

Fear is crafty and wants to keep you from doing the very things that need doing. 

It wants to you to play it safe and for you to never feel discomfort. 

But that’s where all the growth is. 

Tell fear to take a hike, the next time it whispers in your ear.   

Remind yourself that all the good things in life—health, happiness, strength, and freedom—are found on the other side of discomfort. 

Remind yourself exactly what you’re running after. Then do the things needed to get there, no matter how hard or scary they may be. 

Once you’re done and you’ve conquered it, you’ll see how silly fear was in the first place. 

Feelings are a tricky thing.

They can simultaneously be your best friend and your worst enemy. As with most things, there is a dichotomy. There are two paths to how you treat your emotions. 

One puts too much stock in them and believes them good guides for decision making etc. 

The second sees them as triggers. They use them as sign posts that tell them to get in the game and change how they behave. 

Negative emotions like anger, fear, or frustration alert you to a problem within your own heart and mind. These feelings serve as warning sirens that give you the chance to change paths before things get ugly and out of hand.   

It’s a small distinction, but an important one. 

One uses these feelings as the basis for behavior, while the other allows the same feelings to trigger better and more controlled responses. 

Changing how you look at something changes everything, even when that change is something small and noticeable only within your mind. 

Fear Is A Poor Motivator

Fear works. You can use it to get things done and to exert control over yourself and others. 

That doesn’t mean it’s the best or most effective strategy. 

You could walk from New York to LA, but there are more efficient and effective modes of transportation.

Fear based obedience is like walking. It might get you there, but it’s a giant waste of energy and a poor motivator. 

If you’re using fear as your primary motive, here are three effects you should see: 

1. Your motivation will lose power over time. Fear is an intense and draining emotion. You can only deal with it for so long. It eventually becomes exhausting. Slowly, you become too tired to care and indifferent to what happens. Fear based motivation is short-lived.

2. Admitting, learning and moving on from mistakes will be more difficult. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to do things wrong. That’s life. If you’re motivated by fear, you’ll have difficulty owning up to it when you do. You’ll fear reprisal and punishment for not living up to the standard. You’ll be tempted to rationalize and shift blame. 

3. You’ll have trouble enduring hardships. You’ll think that life is unfair and that you’re owed something better when difficulty comes. In other words, despair and bitterness will be the result of suffering if your motivation is fear based. 

Fear is a wimpy motivator. It’s not strong enough to carry you through. Fear might get you moving, but you’re going to need something more to reach the finish line. 

What’s that something more? 

Grace.  

Everything you have and everything you are is a result of grace. You don’t deserve it. It is a gift from God. 

When understood, this should become the greatest and most sustaining motivator in life. 

It is the complete opposite of fear. 

Grace’s becomes a stronger motivator over time. The more you realize and understand that everything in your life is a gift the more grateful you become. The more grateful you are, the more motivated you are to honor that gift with your life. 

Grace provides ground for you to own up to your mistakes without fear. If you're saved by grace, through faith, and everything in your life is because of God’s mercy, then you have nothing to fear from admitting your weakness. You’ll be more likely to share your struggles, learn from, and conquer them. 

Grace will carry you through the hard times. It will be the stone your feet find beneath the quick sand and troubles of this life. It will hold you up and keep you from drowning in despair. If God owns everything, then you are a steward. How you steward things displays your gratitude to God. 

The Scariest Moment

You know that thing you need to do? That thing that scares you? That thing that everything within you dreads doing?

That thing is only scary and fills you with fear because you haven’t jumped in. You haven’t started yet. 

“The scariest moment,” King said, “is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.”

Most of the things we dread don’t turn out as terrible when we get up close and personal with them. Once you overcome your fear and begin things only improve. 

So hear’s to getting started. To rolling up your sleeves and taking the first step. That's the hardest part. It's all down hill after that.

On the other side of that first step is the freedom that comes from beating fear. The freedom that comes from engaging discipline and doing things inspite of fear. 

Marching Into The Unknown

You’ve Got Mail is one of my favorite movies. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are a powerhouse duo exchanging witty banter wrapped in an Affair To Remember esk story. At least once each year, I beg Hannah to let me dig it out and throw it in the ol’ DVD player. Every time, is almost like the first time all over again. Isn’t it that way with our favorites? No matter how many times we’ve seen them, we never get tired of them. As I sat down to write this morning, it popped into my mind. Scene after scene, line after line. In fact, I’m replaying the scene about the Godfather in my head as I type. Greatness!   

As I sat here replaying it in my head, another scene came to mind. Less funny, more serious, yet something I find immensely helpful in this season of life. Midway through the film, Meg Ryan and a character named Birdie have lunch. Meg Ryan’s character has just made the decision to close her charming little bookstore. In the exchange, Birdie issues a series of lines that have stuck with me. They hit me each and every year.

“You are daring to imagine,” Birdie says, “that you could have a different life. Oh, I know it doesn't feel like that. You feel like a big fat failure now. But you're not. You are marching into the unknown armed with...Nothing. Have a sandwich.”

Everything about those lines is lovely. Meg Ryan’s character is feeling low because the business her mother built and left to her, is closing. In the midst of this deep pain, Birdie reminds her of the immense bravery it takes to face the unknown, to do the thing you find particularly hard and difficult.

I feel Hannah and I are marching into the unknown ourselves. In just a few short days, our first son will arrive. Talk about a life changer. Our whole world is about to be upended, in a good way. While we’ve done everything we can think of to prepare, there remains a great deal we are unaware of.

I’m freaking out inside. There are so many questions swirling around in my head, that it hurts. How little sleep is in my future? How will that stress impact our marriage? Do we have enough diapers? Is there anything I’m forgetting? Do we have everything we need for the nursery? Will I drop him? Will we be good parents? What will this new adventure bring into our lives? So many questions, so little answers.

How do you prepare for unknown situations, when you’re freaked out and haven’t a clue what to expect? I’ve thought about that question and a hundred like it. They’ve kept me up at night, and haunted my dreams. They’ve followed me around and lived with me for months on end. Today, I’d like to share with you the result, and how we are preparing to face the unknown once more.

The truth is, this isn’t the first time we’ve “marched into the unknown” and it certainly won’t be the last. We’ve walked this path before, and so have you. Facing situations, events and circumstances you aren’t entirely sure of, is as common as it gets. You don’t know the future, and as a result everything comes with a side of doubt and uncertainty.

Your level of uncertainty changes minute by minute, day by day. While uncertain of every aspect of most situations, you have a reasonable expectation for how it will go. You’ve had similar experiences before and have formed some idea of what most things on your calendar will look like. Other events however, throw massive amounts of uncertainty your way. The more that stands to change in your life, the more unknowns you have to be stressed over. Whether something big or small, the uncertainty is headed your way.

Abide with Christ

Don’t allow uncertainty and stress to threaten your world, and hold you captive. The surest way I know to throw off the heavy yoke the things of this world attempt to lay upon me is to look to Jesus. “Come to me,” Jesus said, “all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Abiding with Christ is the only path to peace in this life, and joy everlasting. One mark of walking with Him is peace in the midst of chaos. You have no need to worry, because you know who’s in control. There is never a moment in your life, during which the Lord wants you to worry. To worry is sin. It communicates your concern that God might get things wrong and that if you just had control things would turn out alright. How often does this pattern play out? How many of the things you’ve prayed the Lord would spare you from, are the very things that ended up shaping who you are the most?

Abiding with Christ involves spending time with His word and doing what it says. Abiding and obedience are inextricably linked, so what does God’s word tell us to do, with our anxiety and fear?   

Pray

“Don’t be anxious in anything,” Paul said, “but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Worry, anxiety and stress are heavy burdens you just don’t have to carry. Cast them off and let Christ deal with it. What keeps us up and costs us sleep, makes Him laugh. He is not worried and He has it under control. Lay your burdens down at the feet of Jesus in prayer because He cares for you. While the burden may be too much for you to bear, it’s not too much for Him. Let Him carry it.

Prayer is a powerful tool God has given you to fight the stress and anxiety uncertainty sends your way. Lay it all out there. "Tell God all that is in your heart,” Francois Fenelon said, “as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pains, to a dear friend. Tell Him your troubles, that He may comfort you; tell Him your joys, that He may sober them; tell Him your longings, that He may purify them; tell Him your dislikes, that He may help you to conquer them; talk to Him of your temptations, that He may shield you from them; show Him the wounds of your heart, that He may heal them; lay bare your indifference to good, your depraved tastes for evil, your instability. Tell Him how self-love makes you unjust to others, how vanity tempts you to be insincere, how pride disguises you to yourself as to others."

God can do something about what’s troubling you and He wants to. What you have in Him is a loving father. Loving fathers are concerned with what’s keeping their kids up at night and want to alleviate their burdens. The Lord is no different. Put it all out there in very real, and raw terms. He loves you and wants to hear what’s on your heart.  

Focus On Truth

“The most important battle you will ever fight,” Todd Wagner said, “is the battle for your mind and the most important weapon in this fight is truth.” Your mind is flooded with a million different thoughts each day, and not all of them are good, helpful or even true. What you do with each of those thoughts will determine everything.

You have to train yourself to think rightly in all circumstances by constantly reminding yourself of what’s true. You facedown what you don’t know by focusing on what you do. You may not know exactly what the future holds, but you can know who holds it. Fix your gaze on Him.

Consistent time in God’s word is the only way this happens. There’s just no way around it. No matter how many times you hear it, daily time in the Bible is the lifeblood of the Christian life. It offers practical and helpful instruction for every aspect of life, especially when staring down anxiety, but most importantly the Bible connects you with the author of life Himself.  

“Finally, brothers,” Paul said, “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Releasing your anxiety is only half the battle, you have to embrace truth in its place. Focus on what is true, honorable, pure and more. This is how you transform your mind, so that you know how to respond rightly no matter what comes your way.

Seek The Wisdom of Others

“The physical presence,” Bonhoeffer said, “of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer.” The Lord has been incredibly kind to you in that He has made you a part of the body of Christ. Within the body are countless men and women who have walked your steps before. What is uncertain to you, may not be to someone else. Ask good questions, seek counsel and wisdom, and avail yourself to the wisdom of others.  

The input and experience of your fellow believers can help alleviate a great deal of stress. Their insights can be huge. Go find someone who's walked the path you’re headed down. Regardless what the road ahead looks like, you can face it. Lock arms with other believers and wade into ambivalent seas ready to tackle what comes together. Remember that we is stronger than me. You don’t have to go it alone.