5 Ways To Fend Off The Deadly Burnout Monster

Hannah and I work a lot. Our schedule is filled with photo shoots, client meetings, mentor sessions, and more. Few days pass without us having something. We closed out 2016 busier than ever before, not taking a day off for nearly two months. The blistering pace we run often has our calendar busting at the seams, leaving just enough room for friends, family and community group have to be fit in where room is left on the slate.

Working too much is a trap you can quickly fall into when you’re self-employed. Since you don’t have a boss screaming down your neck and passing out deadlines like pezz, you fulfill that role by rarely give yourself enough slack—you know how every ounce of your time is spent after all. When you love what you do, this is especially true. When work is something you enjoy, it doesn’t feel like work. You lose yourself in it, forget the time, and look up only to realize it’s 9:30pm and you haven’t had anything to eat since lunch. Do this too often however, and it can lead to burnout.

Burnout appears to be an American problem. As American’s we glorify work. The 20 something launching a startup who works 90 hours a week, is a hero. The same goes for the normal bloke with a job, and mouths to feed. Ask anyone how they are, and you’ll no doubt receive a list of all that they are doing—completely ignoring that you asked how not what. Busy, busy, busy. It’s a badge of honor. I haven’t traveled abroad nearly enough but, I don’t read of workers in Spain, Italy or Nicaragua struggling with burnout. There is something unique to the American experience going on here.

Our obsession with work has led to amazing achievements and ushered in wave after wave of breakthrough and progress, but it also has an ugly side. Parents regularly work so much their children never see them. Many do so until they end up sick or worse. Robin Williams’ character in Hook is the perfect example. He worked and worked and worked, missing Jack’s baseball games and leaving a dad shaped hole in the lives of his wife and two children. His situation was so off the rails he had to become Peter Pan in order to figure things out and put his life back in order.

Sacrificing family at the altar of success isn’t worth it. Neither is working so feverishly that you end up wearing a paper gown that splits down the back. Your family and your health are important to you. I don’t see you arguing with me on that point. But what about your mental health. Isn’t that just as valuable?

You wouldn’t drink poison—at  least I hope not—but many of you will run and run and run until you hit a wall. You’ll run until you ‘just can’t take it anymore.’ You’ll lose control, swerve and hit the guardrail going 110. Bits of glass, and plastic will go flying through the air and come to rest among the gravel and blood on the roadside. At least that’s how I picture it in my mind. All momentum, and forward progress will stop as you throw up your hands and want to quit. That’s what we call burnout.

Burnout isn’t a pretty sight to behold, but unless you do something to fend it off, you’ll most likely experience it in the not too distant future.

Hannah and I have reached that point far too many times. We used to reach the point of burnout at least once a year early on, in fact. It was debilitating. We wouldn’t want to think about work, much less actually go in the office. We were letting work take over our lives. It was what we talked about on date nights, and what we thought about around the clock, no wonder it was crushing at times.

Since then we’ve decided to do something about it by coming up with a strategy to keep burnout at bay. Like any good game plan it’s two fold—offense and defense. We’ve implemented both solid defensive measures to slow burnouts roll, as well as positive forward moving steps to beat it to the punch.  

1.) Schedule your day, setting time limits for each task on your to-do list. You can write this out on paper, log it on your calendar or use a task manager, but the important thing is that you sit down and think through your day ahead of time. If you don’t plan your day, someone will plan it for you. When you’re making your plan, schedule what you’re best at, for when you’re at your best. Then set a window of time for each project. Maybe two hours here, 30 minutes there, so that you move throughout your day in control of it not the other way around.

2.) Do more than one thing. Bounce from one project to another throughout the day. If what you’re currently working on gets boring or starts to grate on you, drop it for a while and do something else. When you get tired of that, switch back to your first project. You’ll still be getting stuff done, but without feeling like you’re beating your head against the wall.

3.) Take a day off, maybe two. Your mind and your imagination have to recharge. They can’t keep going forever without a reset. Schedule time off into your regular routine. Go for a walk, spend time with your family, and enjoy a bit of time away from your work.

4.) Begin each day in God’s Word. People still call this a quiet time every now and then, but it can be as noisy as you’d like. Plug in your headphones, crank up some Shane & Shane and start your day reading the Bible. No discipline is more important than reading God’s Word. It is the most transforming practice available to us. We face trouble, temptation and pressure every day. God’s Word provides just the encouragement, guidance and instruction we need to face the day.      

5.) Have other irons in the fire. Have creative outlets and hobbies that recharge you. Whether it’s painting, reading a book, or writing a story, find another creative endeavor that fills your warms your soul and breathes life into your lungs. You’ll find, the side projects often lead to new and exciting opportunities for your “real work.”

“All advice,” Austin Kleon said, “is autobiographical.” It peels back the layers and gives you the path previously walked by its giver. Hopefully this foray into our world and how we fight burnout will help and inspire you to turn and face the challenge head on, before it forces you off the road.

10 Parenting Tips for New Parents

Hudson is here!

Hannah and I are over the moon excited to welcome our new little guy into the world. We can’t wait to see all the adventures we’ll go on or who our little man grows up to be. We’ve been on the receiving end of a ton of good advice as we’ve prepared to be parents for the first time. Some of it has come from parents and grandparents and some has come from books we’ve read. I’d like to share some of that advice with you here.  

Some of these tips are for new parents, and some of them we’ll just have to tuck in our back pocket for down the road. Regardless, my hope is that you’ll find a nugget or two to take with you.

Treat your spouse like she has a life threatening disease. Protect her rest and serve as the gatekeeper. People visiting the house during those two weeks is exhausting. Tell your friends ahead of time you’ll let them know when you’re ready for people to come over. They’ll want to be helpful and come hang out but it’ll be too much for a while.   

Put baby on a schedule. Your sanity is important.

Let their childhood last as long as possible. Some burdens are too heavy for children. There are topics and conversations they aren’t ready to handle or shouldn’t have to until they’re older. Carry those loads for them until the time is right.

Don’t discipline out of anger. There are going to be times when your temper gets the best of you, but don’t let that be the norm. It's’ better to let something go, than to react out of anger in the moment.

Get a date night without baby as soon as possible. It will be easy for both new parents to get cabin fever and feel isolated. Getting out of the house helps provide relief. Also good to learn to leave baby early on. Gets harder the longer you go without leaving them.

Prioritize sleep. Sleep is scarce, get it when you can.

Have Dinner Together - “Families who eat dinner together,” Duhigg said, “seem to raise children with better homework skills, higher grades, greater emotional control, and more confidence. Making your bed every morning is correlated with better productivity, a greater sense of well-being, and stronger skills at sticking with a budget. It’s not that a family meal or a tidy bed causes better grades or less frivolous spending. But somehow those initial shifts start chain reactions that help other good habits take hold.”

You (dad) are not there to serve the baby, you’re there to serve the mom. Mom will be intently focused upon the needs and well being of the baby. The best way to love your child then, is to love your bride well. Look for ways to take as much pressure and distractions off your wife’s plate as possible. Make sure she is comfortable, refill her water, pray for her, do the laundry; these are all ways you can show her your love and serve her well.  

Our work is not to distract us from our children, our work is to provide for our children. Work is important because it makes so many of the other things we are responsible to do for and with our children possible. It puts food on the table and gas in the tank, but it can also become a distraction. Parents must fight hard to ensure that it doesn’t. Go home and spend time physically, emotionally and in all other ways present with your kiddos. Work is something we do for our children, but it shouldn’t keep us from them.

The goal of parenting is not control of behavior, but rather heart and life change. “As a parent,” Paul Tripp said, “you have been called to something more foundational than the control of the behavior of the children that God has entrusted to your care.” So much of the parenting advice well meaning parents give revolves around behavioral control. That’s always struck me as strange. If what I understand about Christ and the gospel is true, then we are after something far bigger than behavior modification—not just with our kids, but with everyone in our lives. Changing how they act is down river from the heart, just as politics is down river of culture. Don’t get me wrong, we are responsible for helping shape their behavior, that’s just not the most important thing on our to do list.