What You Can Learn From A Blogging Failure

The Summer and Fall of 2015 were wonderful. Not only was I able to come home and join my wife in working full-time on our photography business, I also began writing again. Rejoining the blogging world was invigorating. It has been so good for my heart and soul. As the clock struck midnight and 2015 faded to black I was overjoyed to see what the new year would bring. Fast forward a few months and while much of the year has been amazing, the blog has been touch and go at best. Posts have been infrequent and I haven't been writing with any form of regularity.    

Why write?

Writing is an immensely personal thing. In writing you're translating thousands of thoughts, emotions and ideas from the muddled mess flying around in your head into something clear and intriguing. Letters, words, sentences and paragraphs that communicate something going on in you to the big old world out there. Maybe you noticed something while out on a walk, overheard a conversation in the grocery store or experienced something that got your mind twirling. Whatever it is, you have to write about it. Not because your thoughts, insights and quirky humor are better that others but for the simple reason that writing is what you do. You may not be good at a lot of things, heck you may not even be a "good" writer, but you process the events and emotions of life by putting words on a page. There is rarely anything so exhilarating as that rare moment when you communicate exactly what you're experiencing, or thinking in just the right sequence of words. It might not be Shakespeare but its about as close as you'll ever come. When that moment arrives, few things are as magical. 

Your writing goes far beyond mere expression and processing, it is an avenue to help, encourage and serve others. There are what 8 billion people in the world, a large swath of whom have internet access. It is safe to say that there are quite likely many other people walking through the exact same things as you are each and every day. Will all of them find your dinky little blog and read it? No they won't. What if however your writing finds it's way into the hands of one person somewhere in the world you've never met and most likely never will and it helps them? How marvelous an outcome would that be? I can think of no better outcome for my writing than for the words and sentences I slam together to in some small way help, uplift and encourage another. 

What makes writing so hard?

Few things are as terrifying as a white blank page. It can be utterly paralyzing. You freeze. You don't know where to begin, what to say or even how to say it. Paralyzing fear sets in and you can now think of a thousand other things you'd rather be doing than staring at this blank page, and pounding your head into the desk hoping words will come out. At that moment you wouldn't care what words came out. Any words will do. You are simply and utterly terrified. 

Sound familiar? I know it sure does to me. That is my life most days. I sit down to write and.....nothing. My mind goes blank and I just sit there staring at the screen hoping something will come to mind. As you talk with most people who enjoy writing you will find this is an entirely normal occurrence. Never mind that it's normal though, it is still down right frustrating. You want to write, you even have time set aside for this express purpose, but the words won't flow. And then it hits you. You're over thinking it and making things way harder than they have to be. You realize you don't have to pen a master piece, you just have to get words out of your head and on to the page. Nothing more nothing less. 

What can we learn from it?

I have written very little over the last several months. I've sat down to write, and the words just haven't been there. As I've tried to figure it out and put my finger on exactly what's going on in my heart a few things have stood out to me. 

1. Don't be overly concerned with what other people think. It's a killer. Being over concerned with the thoughts and opinions of others has stopped me from writing all together the last few weeks. The thought has been, "If I don't have anything 'good' and 'helpful' to say, I just won't write anything. After all, I'd hate to write something people dislike, and/or even laugh at. That would just be the worst." In reality, no one cares that much about what you write. Not that many people will read it anyway, so you might as well just write. If by some miracle someone does, so what if they don't like it. The worst that that can come of it, is just that, they don't like it or share it with their friends. That's not such a big deal when you pause to think about it. 

2. Your habits really matter. As I've mentioned, I've really dropped the ball and fallen out of the daily discipline of writing. Normally, I'm all about habits and routines. So much of your personal productivity is tied to the habits you keep. Its time to reconstruct my habits and reinstitute this all too important one into my day. Will I love or even like everything I write? No, but I'll be practicing and improving with each and every key stroke. And that the most important thing.

 3. Some things ebb and flow. One moment ideas, topics, analogies and all around genius seem to come pouring out of you. It just comes so easy. You know what you want to say, the words come quickly and you're done. Sadly, that isn't the case on most occasions. There is a grind to it. Most days you have to keep pushing, keep writing and rewriting until you complete something your satisfied with. 

4. Grace abounds. If you go a few weeks or months without writing consistently, it's not the end of the world. Writing after all is first and foremost a manner of expression and method of processing. The blog monster can be a mean one. One that can be overwhelming and demanding for sure. There can easily be a feeling that you "have to publish" on a particular schedule. Be free to publish on your very own schedule. There are no rules when it comes to blogging. Isn't that great news? You get to use it in whatever way you desire. So don't beat yourself up if you miss a day, a week or even a month. Just crack open journal, notebook or laptop and start writing again. 

What The Best Men I Know Say About Telling People Hard Things

Part of loving people well involves telling them the truth, especially when the truth hurts and is something they don't want to hear.

Want to know who your real friends are? Ask yourself who has confronted you on your stuff, asked you hard questions and told you what you don't want to hear. In fact, this one quality more than any other shows you who truly cares for and loves you.

Given that part of loving people well involves telling them the truth, especially when it hurts and is something they don't want to hear, each of us should strive to improve in doing so.

One of the best ways to improve at something is to talk with people who do it really well. And that's exactly what I've done. I sought the wisdom and advice of a few of the best men I know. Men who strike the right balance of sharing the truth in love.

In this process several things popped up over and over again, and that is what I want to share with you today. When something comes up over and over, perk up and listen, it just might change your life

Of all the advice and insight I received as I reached out and spoke with others, humility came up more than any other. In fact, it was the first thing mentioned each and every time.

And that is telling.   

We hear this word all the time, but how often do we contemplate how a humble attitude would impact our lives? If I'm honest with you, I fail the humility test WAY too often. I routinely want things to go my way and get caught up in my own thoughts, opinions and desires. That's why I've found the advice of others to be so helpful.

So what does it look like to walk into a conversation with a humble heart. 

A humble heart is self aware

It takes stock of how it feels, what its thinking and its attitude and posture. It recognizes that anger, frustration and a critical spirit do not produce the righteousness of God and takes steps to deal with its own junk before addressing anyone else's. What's going on inside your heart matters more than the truth you're trying to share. As Scott Kedersha says, "We don't want to be people who say the right thing or do the right thing without our heart guiding us. It's like the Pharisees being white-washed tombs; clean on the outside, messy on the inside." 

A humble heart is kind

It doesn't speak harshly or rudely, but with softness and gentleness of tone. It is calm and collected, not bouncing off the walls. You've heard it said, but it is worth repeating that, it's not what you say but how you say it. Tone matters. It can either be your friend or your greatest hurdle. Jon Flaming captures the difficulties tone can present as he shares, "I could speak God's truth to someone all day long, but if it is not done with humility and kindness that person will never hear it." A humble heart recognizes that sharp and cutting words and actions are counter productive and make it near impossible for the other person to hear the truth in their words. Instead a humble heart seeks to do everything it can to be kind.   

A humble heart is motivated by love

It is genuinely concerned about the other person's well being and good. A humble heart is not looking to score points, win an argument or point out where others are wrong just for sport. No, it hangs in there and has the hard conversation because they are motivated by love. It's cliche, but people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.  

How To Overcome The Dark Side Of Lists From John Piper

How do you approach your day? 

Do you live and die by your "to do" list, or do you take your day as it comes?  

Boy do I sometimes wish I could take life as it comes. I am just so not that type of person. I am more characterized my the former of the options above, list obsessed. I am so committed to the idea that I take lists and the like to the extreme at times.

While I believe strongly in the power of habits and that accomplishments are by and large a result of the habits we cultivate, there can be a dark side to it all.

What is the dark side of list keeping?

Allowing the list to be the priority and believing that just by keeping the list all your dreams will come true can be an easy trap to fall in. One I've fallen in many times myself.  

Lists are great tools and can help us achieve many good and right things, but shouldn't be our end all. They are incredibly limited in their power and can crush you if you're not careful. 

Thankfully John Piper offers some truly helpful and insightful help to us in this 10 minutes of audio. It is perhaps the single most important 10 minutes of preaching I've ever heard. It is an excerpt from a 2004 sermon entitled, What Is The Will of God and How Do We Know it?, in which he discusses among many things the only way we can live the Christian life. 

Here is one of my absolute favorite paragraphs found near the end of this talk. Tell me this doesn't encourage and challenge you at the same time. 

"I don’t buy and large live my life by lists. You try to live your life by lists, either the lists will be ridiculous in its shortness compared to the 10,000 things you do each day or it will be so long you would die. There is only one way to live the Christian life. Don’t be conformed, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. It is our only hope. Life is too spontaneous. You just can’t live it by lists. You can’t live it even by the 10 Commandments, because 95 percent of the time you are doing stuff without reflecting on whether it breaks any commandment. You are just doing stuff. My biggest challenge is: Piper, be new. Be new. Just get at the core of my being. If there is any stuff, junk, pride, left down there that is just causing the stuff to come out unbidden and unplanned, get at me down here, Lord. That is the only hope, isn’t it? So concluding exhortation. Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Saturate your mind with it. I don’t know another way."

This short clip of audio has had a far greater impact on my life than any other, and I pray that it is just as impactful for you today. We can't afford to live our lives clinging too closely to our lists. We must have transformed minds, it is our only hope. 

Lessons About Life From A Sweet New Puppy

After nearly four years of hoping, dreaming and praying my wife and I recently got our first dog, the sweetest little golden retriever puppy named Annie. It has been a little like a roller coaster ride at the Hagaman home lately as our world has been changed for the better.  

Aside from being the sweetest, cutest little puppy I've ever met, Annie has also opened up my world to a thousand new realizations.

It's funny how these types of changes reverberate throughout the rest of your life. Well that has certainly been the case with Annie.

Most of the time she is sweet, cuddly, and all around the most wonderful little fluffy ball of joy imaginable. However there have been times when she hasn’t been near any of those things.

For example, our first couple of nights. She would whine and yelp most of the night. She wasn't used to the new surroundings and understandably felt fear at being left all alone in her new crate.

There have been a few accidents where she either didn't make it outside or didn't even try. You can't take your eye off her. You have to watch her and track her every movement, being ready to scoop her up and run outside at a moments notice. Talk about limiting your productivity and freedom throughout the day!

With things like this swirling around I find a number of things running through my mind almost daily.

Why can't she get it right?

Doesn't she know she is supposed to go outside?

Doesn't she understand that she is loved, cared for and safe? 

It all boils down to the expectation that a 6 week old puppy would act, think, behave and live as a fully mature and well trained dog.

And that convicts me.

How often do I think, act, behave and live as a mature and well trained follower of Christ? How often must the Lord look at my life, emotions, attitudes and thoughts and conclude that I just don't get it.

Don't I know that He loves me, cares for me, and has me in the palm of His mighty hands? In light of this, what business do I have with fear and doubt?

Am I not aware of how God has called me to conduct myself?

How deeply must my inability to get it right be frustrating to Him? 

Thankfully, God has a nature, character and love deeper, wider and greater than mine in every respect. Where I may be frustrated with the difficulties a little puppy brings into my life, He is not frustrated with the mess I create on a daily basis in my relationships, work and life. No, He loves and cares for me just as a loving father would. Because He is the ultimate loving father.

While He loves me enough to forgive my sin and meet me right where I am, He also loves me enough not to leave me there. He enables me to grow and take ground so that I come to resemble His Son more and more over the days, weeks and years.

He shows me remarkable grace. That my sin is not counted against me is the greatest news I've ever heard. I am so thankful that God is a gracious, loving father who has made provision for my sin and called me into His family.

Reflecting on these simple truths about God over the last few days has been so very convicting, not just in how I think about our little Annie, but in how I approach life in general. I desire to extend grace to people like crazy, to be generous and lavish in my praise and to love people enough to gently and lovingly call them to grow in Christlikeness.

I don't know about you but I have some serious ground to take and I am serious about taking it.

Here are four quick ways we can take ground this week:

1. Invest time in God's word. Get God's word into your heart and mind. Fill your thoughts with the words of scripture. I use the word invest strategically here, because this takes time. We aren't going to memorize the bible this week. However, we can increase our knowledge, understanding and memorization of God's word over time. As we consistently put in the time, we will see a return in not just our minds but in our lives as well.

2. Surround yourself with good people. Truthfully, I don't always like this one. Community is hard, messy and difficult, but it is 100% worth it. Even if you don't like the people they will have a tremendously positive impact on your life. They will be there to bounce ideas off of, but more importantly they will be there to help you take stock of your heart and your life for the purpose of growing in Christlikeness.

3. Pray specifically for the lord to help you mature in Christ, specifically related to those areas that are especially hard, difficult and trying right now. Rarely have I seen my prayers change someone else's heart, attitude or behavior, but I have definitely seen it transform mine. It is quite difficult to dislike and mistreat those you are consistently praying for.    

4. Serve. Jump in the game and start giving of yourself. When you begin to serve and care for others you begin love them. Throughout life, you'll often find that emotions follow actions. 

Mortimer Adler Can Show You How To Skim A Book Better

 

If you have been a reader of this blog for anytime, you know how much I value and enjoy reading. I believe it to be one of the most important habits we can develop and that the books we read shape who we become.

As a result of the incredibly high regard in which I hold reading, I spend a great deal of time thinking about the topic and seeking to sharpen my reading skills and habits. As a guy with this much of a love for reading, I am an incredibly slow reader.

Enter, Mortimer Adler.   

In his modern classic, How To Read A Book: The Classic Guide To Intelligent Reading, Adler offers up helpful rules for reading, including skimming a book. Like so much of what I learn, I wish I'd learned what Adler shares on skimming sooner. Oh how it could have transformed my college career! How much time could better book skimming skills have saved you in college? If you're anything like me, it amounts to hours and hours of time.

Not only will Adler's suggestions for skimming save you time, they will help you extract and retain more of what you read. If you follow the six steps below you will be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and discern the author's main points quickly.   

Adler's Suggestions for Skimming a Book

1. Look at the title page and if the book has one, at its preface.

2. Study the table of contents.

3. Check the index, if the book has one. Make a quick estimate of the range of topics covered and of the kinds of books and authors referred to. When you see terms listed that seem crucial, look up at least some of the passages cited.

4. Read the publisher's blurb.

5. Look now at the chapters that seem to be pivotal to its argument. If these chapters have summary statements in their opening or closing pages, as they often do, read these statements carefully.

6. Finally, turn the pages, dipping in here and there, reading a paragraph or two, sometimes several pages in sequence never more than that...Above all, do not fail to read the last two or three pages, or, if these are an epilogue, the last few pages of the main part of the book.