“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
We truly find ourselves in "times that try men's souls." Each new hour brings conflicting stories of hope and despair. Amid it all, we can't lose sight of this simple truth: Great tragedy brings great opportunity.
In the midst of your biggest challenges, you often find your biggest opportunities. While a nationwide shutdown is less than ideal, it does give you a chance to use it for good. What government meant for evil; you can use for good. Or something like that.
This crisis offers several opportunities to massively positive outcomes. One of the most consequential is improving your marriage. Take your marriage from a 5 to a 7, or an 8 to a 10. No matter where you are, there is room to grow.
How can we use this time to enrich our marriages?
You are spending A LOT of time with your spouse as everyone sits under house arrest. This is especially difficult when confined to small spaces. You are on top of each other and tensions will easily rise. Many are seeking to simply survive.
None of us want to simply get through things; we long to thrive and flourish no matter the situation. So how can we leverage Coronavirus for the betterment of your marriage?
You enrich your marriage during this season as we would in any other. This situation is not as novel as we tend to believe. We’ve been here before and can navigate this crisis just as we have in years past. While that is most certainly true, some more specific ideas might be warranted as well. What follows are a few insights to help you in this strange time:
Make your marriage a priority. You can’t hit a target you don’t aim at.
Extend grace. Your spouse will do things that annoy and grate on you. They upset and anger you with decisions, actions, and inactions in ordinary times, let alone the odd times we inhabit. How you respond is one hundred percent within your control. You decide; you can choose to extend grace to your spouse no matter the situation. Grace is unmerited by definition; it means granting kindness often in spite of the other person’s actions.
Believe the best in one another. This goes hand in hand with extending grace. Avoiding unnecessary conflict in unusual situations as we find ourselves in, requires believing the best in one another; we must begin by assuming the intentions of your spouse are honorable and in no way nefarious to your good.
Encourage one another with God’s Word. Read the Bible together. Filter every feeling you’re having through the lens of Scripture. Wield God’s Word as your primary weapon against the anxiety and worry that so often confronts you.
Serve one another. Look for ways to lighten the other’s load. Be observant and meet the needs of the other without having to be asked.
Date Night In. Build the relationship and ask good questions.
Go on walks. Get out of your house and enjoy some fresh air together.
Talk about your hopes and dreams. Talking about the future serves two positive ends; (1) deeper connection and (2) reminds you that you’re going to make it out of this. This second one is a big one. Talking about the future helps you escape the present and see a future in which you survive ‘the end of the world’.
“A good marriage is not something you find, it’s something you work for.”
You will emerge from this with a stronger, happier, and healthier marriage; or your marriage will crumble. Which direction yours turns is up to you. I pray you choose to work on yours during this trying time.