“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
I complete some version of an annual review every year. In 2018, I stole my good friend Scott Kedersha’s template and asked myself three questions as a guide to reviewing the year:
1. What went well?
2. What didn’t?
3. What did I learn?
I found this a helpful exercise. It helped me gain clarity on the year’s events and think more deeply about the road ahead. I can think of few ways to close out this year, then by sharing this year’s review.
What went well this year?
Writing – After taking close to a year off, I started writing again in 2019. Writing is a joy and passion that helps me process what I learn. Additionally, writing allows me to work through life lessons and provides an opportunity to share it with others.
Reading – Few things remain within my constant reach like a good book. I am always chewing on and devouring the written word. It provides a window into a whole new world. Not a world of escapism, but a whole new world
Our son started school – Ok, he started attending a two-day per week school. But in the mind and reality of a first-time parent, it totally counts as him growing up too fast and starting to do big kid things. He loves going to school and always brings home a smile and germs. Yes, all the germs and sickness have followed him home, but it has remained worth it. Our son’s vocabulary exploded once he began school and regularly surprises us with his knowledge and grasp of language. School is a major win for the Hagaman’s this year.
CrossFit – November marked my one-year anniversary of drinking the CrossFit Kool-Aid. Drinking it helped me not only regain any previous level of fitness, but took things to new heights. It daily provides the opportunity to tackle new challenges, work on new modalities, and improve as an athlete. While CrossFit helps me develop physically, its greatest aide comes in the mental realm. It introduces regular opportunities to work on my mental toughness by facing down pain and exhaustion. That’s how you develop mental toughness, you make a date with suffering and push through it.
What didn’t go so well this year?
Miscarriage – My wife and I had a hard year. We experienced the elation of becoming pregnant with our second child, only to soon have elation fade into heartbreak, several times this year. In fact, this struggle will define 2019 as we reflect back on it moving forward. It will be known as the single most difficult year we have endured as a married couple, so far, because of this roller coaster ride between joy and sorrow.
Scripture memory – I did an awful job memorizing scripture in 2019. While I remained faithful in reading God’s word, I fell off in committing it to memory. 2019 began with a list of verses I wanted to memorize and the list will remain much the same heading in to 2020. I’ll have to step up my game and recommit time each day to focused effort on memorizing God’s word.
What did I learn?
God has all the facts. Pain, suffering, and heartache will forever define 2019 in our home. We faced down each one by reminding ourselves that God has all the facts. We don’t. He understands why things happen the way they do in ways we may never come to fully comprehend. He knows everything about each one. We see only in part. It would be wrong to presume upon the Lord based on our limited view of things. In those moments, we remind ourselves of His goodness, His grace, and His sovereignty. He stands in control, and allows everything that comes to pass for a reason. Even when that reason is beyond us.
Everything in your life is determined by your mindset. We’re told this as kids, but fail to take it to heart. If we understood how pivotal this single lesson turns out to be, our childhood and thus our lives would look quite different. We’d do everything we could to develop and harden our minds. That’s the journey we’ve got to take. We have to put in the hard work necessary to gain mental toughness. The majority of what I’ve thought and by extension written about this year is a branch on this giant tree.
Define success by the effort you exert. Most want to define success by external trappings. They want to look at outcomes and use them to determine how well they’re doing. That’s the wrong game to play because you have little control of outcomes. The only thing you can control is you, and the work you put in. That’s why you put in all-out effort at all times.
Focus on what you can control. There is a small number of things you can truly control. Stay in that lane. Trouble comes when you disregard this and swerve into oncoming traffic. Frustration and heartache will slam into you and wreck your plans because life seldom cooperates with your attempts to control it.
Your greatest suffering paves the path to your greatest victories. Failure is a stepping stone to future success. In fact, your failures are some of God’s greatest gifts.
Don’t let failure derail you. You will fail. It’s going to happen no matter how hard you work. Push through when it comes. Don’t allow one simple failure to throw you off or stop you on your mission.
Always striving. Always improving. Life is an infinite game. You’re never done growing, learning, and becoming better. You’re either getting better day by day, or your sliding backwards. You never arrive. There will always remain something to improve.