The Scariest Moment

You know that thing you need to do? That thing that scares you? That thing that everything within you dreads doing?

That thing is only scary and fills you with fear because you haven’t jumped in. You haven’t started yet. 

“The scariest moment,” King said, “is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.”

Most of the things we dread don’t turn out as terrible when we get up close and personal with them. Once you overcome your fear and begin things only improve. 

So hear’s to getting started. To rolling up your sleeves and taking the first step. That's the hardest part. It's all down hill after that.

On the other side of that first step is the freedom that comes from beating fear. The freedom that comes from engaging discipline and doing things inspite of fear. 

Raving Fans

Ken Blanchard was famous for his concept of creating raving fans. He used to say that satisfying customers wasn’t the goal. Creating situations where they’re absolutely blown away is.  

Creating those experiences isn’t as difficult as you think. It takes going that extra inch to make every encounter with you and your business remarkable. It’s being different in a way that improves how your customer feels about working with you. 

You want people to walk away not only satisfied but raving about you. You want them obsessed and telling everyone about it. 

Put others first. Be interested in the lives of others. Be present everywhere you are, not distracted by your phone or what’s going on around you. Look people in the eye. Smile. Care enough to listen. Say “please,” and “thank you.” 

These are simple things. We can all do better at creating raving fans. Whether they’re fans of our business or fans of us personally. 

Aim to leave a great impression on everyone you meet. 

Do this and you’ll have a stellar reputation. Not only that, but you’ll have a life full of more love and kindness than you thought possible. 

Capturing The Power In Small Moments

While in college I took part in an aptitude assessment. For two days they put problem after problem before me to see how I responded. It felt more like a game than series of tests until I reached one involving spacial awareness. The test was simple. They showed me a square block composed of several different pieces, like a puzzle. They would then have me turn around as they dissembled the block. After turning around they asked me to put it back together as they timed me. I couldn’t do it the way they wanted me to.

I kept “failing” the test because when faced with a complex problem, I broke it up into smaller ones. I made two different blocks out of the pieces and then put those two together. I couldn’t do it the other way, the “right” way, no matter how many chances they gave me.

This is how I solve complex problems, I break them up into smaller more manageable ones. I don’t try to eat a steak all in one bite, and I don’t attempt to tackle large goals or issues in one bite either. I chop them up into many smaller pieces, solve them and get to work putting them back together.

My wife and I do this as a team on a daily basis. Most divide most projects between the two of us. We split a wedding day evenly for instance. While she is capturing the bride getting ready, I’ll do the same for the guys. While she is shooting from the aisle, I am getting a different angle. While she is taking family pictures, I'm calling out names and lining up the next photo. At every moment and in every way we divide big things, like weddings, into small bite size chunks.

Chunking like this not only helps us do big projects at work, it also aids us in reaching large personal goals. No area is this more evident in my life than my reading habits. I determined to continue learning and growing the rest of my life many years ago. I read a lot as a result. I don't read with the prolific nature of Tim Challies—who reads over 100 books a year—or the determined spirit of Stephen King— who prescribes reading four to six hours a day—but, I still read more than a lot of people.

I read in the neighborhood of thirty books covering the span of the literary world each year. Some books stretch my mind, some inform my heart, and others show how stories get told. Regardless of the genre or style each page I turn helps me become whoever it is I’ll grow up to be.

The same could true for you. You don’t have to set aside hours for reading or take a speed reading course do the same feat. All you have to do is carve out small moments of focused effort.

Read in small bits here and there. I break it up into three small bite size bits. I read three pages when I wake up, three more over my lunch break, followed by three more before bed. That’s almost ten pages without breaking a sweat.

Why three pages? It’s a number so small, it’s not worth not doing. Why would I skimp on reading such a small number of pages? We look at the stack of books we want to read and chicken out before trying because it all seems too big. Three pages is a number so small in comparison, that it’s laughable not to take them on.   

The funny thing is I rarely stop at three pages per sitting. Once I’m deep in a book, there is little knowing how many pages I’ll end up turning. It varies day to day, but it’s far more than I’d read otherwise.

21 Leadership Lessons Learned From Reading Extreme Ownership

“The only meaningful measure for a leader,” Jocko Willink said, “is whether the team succeeds or fails. For all the definitions, descriptions, and characteristics of leaders, there are only two that matter: effective and ineffective. Effective leaders lead successful teams that accomplish their mission and win. Ineffective leaders do not.” 

ex ownership pic.jpg

Leadership and leaders are a hot topic. Talk to anyone on the street and they want to be a better and more effective leader. Not everyone will define good leadership the same, but all want to be effective. All want to win. 

I’m little different. I want to win at work, at home and in every area of life. I’m willing to take extreme steps to avoid losing, and to secure a victory. I want to exude drive, discipline, and focus. In short, I want to be the leader Jocko Willink and Lief Babbin describe in Extreme Ownership. 

Ask my wife and she'll tell you how obsessed I am with this book and Jocko’s podcast. I love their philosophy and take on leadership and am compelled to share a glimpse into why with you here. 

What follows is a list of twenty-one things I'm learning from both sources.

  1. Discipline equals freedom. This starts each day when the alarm clock goes off. In many ways, it’s the first test of the day, it sets the tone. If you get up, you win. If you don’t, you fail. Discipline starts with the little things and is the difference between good and exceptional.
  2. Check your ego. The most difficult ego to deal with is your own. 
  3. Own everything around you. Take responsibility. Look at yourself first whenever trouble arises. Your team not performing well? It's your fault, own it. Rather than blame others, figure out a way to better communicate so they understand. Instead of complaining about your boss, take ownership of problems and lead. Support your boss. Take responsibility for communicating in the right way.
  4. Be humble. Admit shortcomings and failures. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong or at least that the potential for being wrong exists. "Winning in daily battles," Jocko said, "gives you the opportunity to deflect credit, show your humbleness in victory and show your ability to lead. Which all help you in the long-term fight to achieve your goals. Losing a battle gives you the opportunity to generously cede your position, admit your wrong, which both display humbleness, and display your ability to follow. Winning or losing isn’t as important as how you react to winning or losing." 
  5. Believe what you say. If you don’t, ask questions until you understand and find belief in what must be done. You can't expect others to buy-in to an idea you yourself don't believe in.
  6. Explain the why behind things. Help people understand not just what you want them to do, but the goals and reasons why. Help them understand the intention. 
  7. What you tolerate is more important than what you say. "If substandard performance is accepted," Jocko said, "and no one is held accountable—if there are no consequences—that poor performance becomes the new standard."
  8. Never be satisfied. Always strive to improve and build that mindset into those you lead. There are no finished products this side of the grave. 
  9. Go on offense. It is always better to go on offense than to sit back and play defense. Be proactive rather than reactive.
  10. Cover and move. "Work well with others," Jocko said, "Support them and help them win. Make them part of your team. Stay close enough, physically and relationally that you can move to support and help one another."
  11. Simplify as much as possible. Complexity compounds issues when things spiral out of control, which they will.
  12. Detach from the situation. "Detach yourself," Jocko said, "when you start getting worked up and ask yourself, 'why?' then regain control of yourself." Detachment is a common theme on the podcast, one that sounds both difficult, and rewarding. 
  13. Prioritize your problems and take care of them one at a time, focusing on the highest priority first.
  14. Empower other leaders to go get it done. Give simple, clear, concise orders that are easily understood by everyone. Allow people to take initiative and make decisions. "They must know you have their back," Jocko said, "even if they make a bad call, as long as the call was made in an effort to achieve the objective."
  15. Develop standard operating procedures. 
  16. Have a system for planning. Have a repeatable checklist of all the important things they need to think about.
  17. Make decisions. Be decisive. Be aggressive.
  18. Don’t burn bridges. "Nothing is gained by this." Jocko said, "The future is unknown, and you should always do what you can to maintain lines of communication, bridges intact and reinforced if possible. Do not pursue a course of action that can not be undone, reversed or manipulated in the future."
  19. Don’t be emotional. Don’t lose control of them. If you can’t control your emotions what can you control? Take control of your emotions. "They don’t get a vote," Jocko said. Impose your will upon them; discipline, mind control, and drive. Don’t let them control you, control them.
  20. Be the best at everything you do. Put in the time, energy and effort required. Hustle hard, and outwork everyone.
  21. Listen and seek to understand what other people tell you. 

This is the man I want to be. These are the principles I want to fuse to the very core of my being. I want them to ooze out of me like sweat during a workout. 

Why am I drawn to these principles? Why do they suck me in like a moth to a flame?

The simple answer is that they reflect the biblical worldview and scriptural principles. God’s word calls His people to behave and respond to the world around them in the same way. They are an ideal worthy of our pursuit and one I want to run after. 

Four Things That Will Increase The Likelihood of Working On Your Dream

Tim Ferriss has a phenomenal podcast, on which he peels back the layers on today’s top performers. He scores big name guests like Kevin Costner, Jamie Fox, Malcolm Gladwell and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Each intriguing conversation yields powerful advice and entertaining stories you can learn from.

I’ve listened to The Tim Ferriss Show, since reading The Four Hour Work Week a few years back. That book was so helpful and inspiring in my journey from corporate life to small business owner. Tim’s podcast has been little different. Each time I throw my headphones in I find something of value and interest, no matter the subject or guest. A few of my favorite episodes are conversations with Mike Rowe, Pavel Tsatsouline, Kevin Costner, and Derek Sivers.

I'm taking a page from Tim in today's post. I'm sharing the tips, routines and habits that constitute my writing life. I’m not a big-time author, published writer or anything close to famous. I’m a guy dedicated to his craft, seeking to get better every day and who wants to help you do the same. What follows are thoughts and snapshots of my world, I hope you find it helpful.

Get Out of Bed

For most of my life, getting out of bed has been a struggle. In middle school and high school, this was especially true. My mom would have to poke and prod me for what seemed like hours to get me up each morning. In college, little was different. I would stay up far too late and sleep as much as I could the following day. On more than one occasion, I slept through my 7 or 8 am classes. I lacked the self-discipline and drive to get up early.

Then came real life and with it the responsibility and accountability of my first job. I couldn’t hit the snooze, roll over and sleep in any longer. I had a defined place I had to be each morning. Being late, was no longer an option. This change was good for me. When I had a reason to be up, and a plan for what I was going to do, getting up wasn’t a big deal.

I roll out of bed at 5:30 am, most days. I walk to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of bulletproof coffee and sit down at my computer to write. I write until my wife gets up at 6:30 am. At which time I pour a second cup of coffee and spend thirty minutes to an hour reading God’s word. By 8:00 am I’ve written for an hour, spent 30 minutes to an hour in the Bible and walked our two sweet pups. I’m locked and loaded to start my work day.

I treasure this morning routine. It feeds my soul and helps me win the day. Before I started this routine, I struggled to find the time to write. Attempting to fit writing into any other corner of my day wasn’t working. Too much was going on once the work day started to squeeze writing time into the day.

Then it hit me. I could be selfish at 5:30 am. There would be nothing to distract me. No email, phone calls, or meetings. I could work on exactly what I wanted and that’s exactly what I did. I started getting up early.  

No matter how crazy my day gets or what curve balls get thrown my way, I will have spent time working on something personal. The craziness of life no longer remains an excuse for not getting things done. Of course, I miss days here and there. Maybe we were up late shooting a wedding, or traveling with family and I don’t get up as early. Grace abounds in those circumstances. I’m not going to beat myself up for sleeping in, I’ll just make sure I get up the next day. Getting out of bed and tackling a small piece of writing each day has become too important.

Prime the Pump     

I enjoy watching good movies on the couch with my wife but would rather read a good book if given the choice. Reading fuels my writing. It gives me ideas to ponder, words to look up and examples to follow. “If you don't have time to read,” Stephen King said, “you don't have the time (or the tools) to write.”  I’ve taken King at his word and have come to agree. As a writer, you prime the pump by reading good and sometimes bad writing.

“You are, in fact, a mashup of what you choose to let into your life.” Austin Kleon said, “You are the sum of your influences.” Reading is only one form of input. If you are going to grow as a writer, you are going to need more influences than great books. You’re going to need to fill your mind with exciting and fun experiences, music, and more. It is from this well, your ideas spring.

I call this priming the pump. Before any bit of writing goes out into the world countless hours get spent hiking, listening and reading. Input precedes output. We must tend to the things that influence what we create if we want to improve our creative endeavors.

Do Something Every Day

“What you do each day,” Sonia Samone said, “becomes what you did last year.” The truth is, the things you get done, come down to the small habits and routines you do daily. Change and growth are incrementally obtained. The only way I know to get something written is to sit down and write. There isn’t a hidden formula. You have to actually write.

The things you’re good at in life, take time and practice. Writing is no different. If you want to improve and get more out there into the world, you must consistently write. You need to be writing every day. The time of day isn’t important, time spent writing is.

As I’ve shared, I write daily. Writing daily doesn’t mean publishing daily. I write many things that will never see the light of day, most of it for good reason. For every one good page of writing, I stumble upon, there are dozens of terrible ones. You don’t get to write only good things, often the road to the good runs through the bad along the way.

“You always throw out your first pancake,” Seth Godin said, “so get cooking.” Don’t let a few mangled sentences and dry prose stop you, keep at it. Show up every day committed to your task. Do the work required. If writing is an inspired thing, make yourself easy for inspiration to find. Consistency is inspiration’s best friend; they hang out a lot.  

Don’t Think About the Final Product

Few things suck the life out of the act of writing or creative work quite like the tyranny of the finished product. You have this picture of what it’ll look like, what people will say about it and even how it’ll improve your reputation. No wonder you tighten up and have trouble finding the ‘right’ words. You’re so concerned with the final product, that you can’t get anything done.

Pay little attention to your finished product while working. Get your idea on paper or canvas. Vomit it all up on the page, every last piece. Once you’ve got it all out there, you can then go about the work of crafting it. The best way I know to write is to work without the end in mind. I don’t develop any preconceived notions of what completion will mean.

What I’ve given you here is one aspiring writer’s guide. It isn’t definitive or even groundbreaking. It’s a quick run through a few of the habits and routines I use for writing.

1. Get up early

2. Read a lot

3. Write every day

4. Don’t focus on the final product


These four steps have helped me grow and develop as a writer. It's my hope they’ll do the same for you, whatever your creative goals may be.