21 Leadership Lessons Learned From Reading Extreme Ownership

“The only meaningful measure for a leader,” Jocko Willink said, “is whether the team succeeds or fails. For all the definitions, descriptions, and characteristics of leaders, there are only two that matter: effective and ineffective. Effective leaders lead successful teams that accomplish their mission and win. Ineffective leaders do not.” 

ex ownership pic.jpg

Leadership and leaders are a hot topic. Talk to anyone on the street and they want to be a better and more effective leader. Not everyone will define good leadership the same, but all want to be effective. All want to win. 

I’m little different. I want to win at work, at home and in every area of life. I’m willing to take extreme steps to avoid losing, and to secure a victory. I want to exude drive, discipline, and focus. In short, I want to be the leader Jocko Willink and Lief Babbin describe in Extreme Ownership. 

Ask my wife and she'll tell you how obsessed I am with this book and Jocko’s podcast. I love their philosophy and take on leadership and am compelled to share a glimpse into why with you here. 

What follows is a list of twenty-one things I'm learning from both sources.

  1. Discipline equals freedom. This starts each day when the alarm clock goes off. In many ways, it’s the first test of the day, it sets the tone. If you get up, you win. If you don’t, you fail. Discipline starts with the little things and is the difference between good and exceptional.
  2. Check your ego. The most difficult ego to deal with is your own. 
  3. Own everything around you. Take responsibility. Look at yourself first whenever trouble arises. Your team not performing well? It's your fault, own it. Rather than blame others, figure out a way to better communicate so they understand. Instead of complaining about your boss, take ownership of problems and lead. Support your boss. Take responsibility for communicating in the right way.
  4. Be humble. Admit shortcomings and failures. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong or at least that the potential for being wrong exists. "Winning in daily battles," Jocko said, "gives you the opportunity to deflect credit, show your humbleness in victory and show your ability to lead. Which all help you in the long-term fight to achieve your goals. Losing a battle gives you the opportunity to generously cede your position, admit your wrong, which both display humbleness, and display your ability to follow. Winning or losing isn’t as important as how you react to winning or losing." 
  5. Believe what you say. If you don’t, ask questions until you understand and find belief in what must be done. You can't expect others to buy-in to an idea you yourself don't believe in.
  6. Explain the why behind things. Help people understand not just what you want them to do, but the goals and reasons why. Help them understand the intention. 
  7. What you tolerate is more important than what you say. "If substandard performance is accepted," Jocko said, "and no one is held accountable—if there are no consequences—that poor performance becomes the new standard."
  8. Never be satisfied. Always strive to improve and build that mindset into those you lead. There are no finished products this side of the grave. 
  9. Go on offense. It is always better to go on offense than to sit back and play defense. Be proactive rather than reactive.
  10. Cover and move. "Work well with others," Jocko said, "Support them and help them win. Make them part of your team. Stay close enough, physically and relationally that you can move to support and help one another."
  11. Simplify as much as possible. Complexity compounds issues when things spiral out of control, which they will.
  12. Detach from the situation. "Detach yourself," Jocko said, "when you start getting worked up and ask yourself, 'why?' then regain control of yourself." Detachment is a common theme on the podcast, one that sounds both difficult, and rewarding. 
  13. Prioritize your problems and take care of them one at a time, focusing on the highest priority first.
  14. Empower other leaders to go get it done. Give simple, clear, concise orders that are easily understood by everyone. Allow people to take initiative and make decisions. "They must know you have their back," Jocko said, "even if they make a bad call, as long as the call was made in an effort to achieve the objective."
  15. Develop standard operating procedures. 
  16. Have a system for planning. Have a repeatable checklist of all the important things they need to think about.
  17. Make decisions. Be decisive. Be aggressive.
  18. Don’t burn bridges. "Nothing is gained by this." Jocko said, "The future is unknown, and you should always do what you can to maintain lines of communication, bridges intact and reinforced if possible. Do not pursue a course of action that can not be undone, reversed or manipulated in the future."
  19. Don’t be emotional. Don’t lose control of them. If you can’t control your emotions what can you control? Take control of your emotions. "They don’t get a vote," Jocko said. Impose your will upon them; discipline, mind control, and drive. Don’t let them control you, control them.
  20. Be the best at everything you do. Put in the time, energy and effort required. Hustle hard, and outwork everyone.
  21. Listen and seek to understand what other people tell you. 

This is the man I want to be. These are the principles I want to fuse to the very core of my being. I want them to ooze out of me like sweat during a workout. 

Why am I drawn to these principles? Why do they suck me in like a moth to a flame?

The simple answer is that they reflect the biblical worldview and scriptural principles. God’s word calls His people to behave and respond to the world around them in the same way. They are an ideal worthy of our pursuit and one I want to run after. 

Four Things That Will Increase The Likelihood of Working On Your Dream

Tim Ferriss has a phenomenal podcast, on which he peels back the layers on today’s top performers. He scores big name guests like Kevin Costner, Jamie Fox, Malcolm Gladwell and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Each intriguing conversation yields powerful advice and entertaining stories you can learn from.

I’ve listened to The Tim Ferriss Show, since reading The Four Hour Work Week a few years back. That book was so helpful and inspiring in my journey from corporate life to small business owner. Tim’s podcast has been little different. Each time I throw my headphones in I find something of value and interest, no matter the subject or guest. A few of my favorite episodes are conversations with Mike Rowe, Pavel Tsatsouline, Kevin Costner, and Derek Sivers.

I'm taking a page from Tim in today's post. I'm sharing the tips, routines and habits that constitute my writing life. I’m not a big-time author, published writer or anything close to famous. I’m a guy dedicated to his craft, seeking to get better every day and who wants to help you do the same. What follows are thoughts and snapshots of my world, I hope you find it helpful.

Get Out of Bed

For most of my life, getting out of bed has been a struggle. In middle school and high school, this was especially true. My mom would have to poke and prod me for what seemed like hours to get me up each morning. In college, little was different. I would stay up far too late and sleep as much as I could the following day. On more than one occasion, I slept through my 7 or 8 am classes. I lacked the self-discipline and drive to get up early.

Then came real life and with it the responsibility and accountability of my first job. I couldn’t hit the snooze, roll over and sleep in any longer. I had a defined place I had to be each morning. Being late, was no longer an option. This change was good for me. When I had a reason to be up, and a plan for what I was going to do, getting up wasn’t a big deal.

I roll out of bed at 5:30 am, most days. I walk to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of bulletproof coffee and sit down at my computer to write. I write until my wife gets up at 6:30 am. At which time I pour a second cup of coffee and spend thirty minutes to an hour reading God’s word. By 8:00 am I’ve written for an hour, spent 30 minutes to an hour in the Bible and walked our two sweet pups. I’m locked and loaded to start my work day.

I treasure this morning routine. It feeds my soul and helps me win the day. Before I started this routine, I struggled to find the time to write. Attempting to fit writing into any other corner of my day wasn’t working. Too much was going on once the work day started to squeeze writing time into the day.

Then it hit me. I could be selfish at 5:30 am. There would be nothing to distract me. No email, phone calls, or meetings. I could work on exactly what I wanted and that’s exactly what I did. I started getting up early.  

No matter how crazy my day gets or what curve balls get thrown my way, I will have spent time working on something personal. The craziness of life no longer remains an excuse for not getting things done. Of course, I miss days here and there. Maybe we were up late shooting a wedding, or traveling with family and I don’t get up as early. Grace abounds in those circumstances. I’m not going to beat myself up for sleeping in, I’ll just make sure I get up the next day. Getting out of bed and tackling a small piece of writing each day has become too important.

Prime the Pump     

I enjoy watching good movies on the couch with my wife but would rather read a good book if given the choice. Reading fuels my writing. It gives me ideas to ponder, words to look up and examples to follow. “If you don't have time to read,” Stephen King said, “you don't have the time (or the tools) to write.”  I’ve taken King at his word and have come to agree. As a writer, you prime the pump by reading good and sometimes bad writing.

“You are, in fact, a mashup of what you choose to let into your life.” Austin Kleon said, “You are the sum of your influences.” Reading is only one form of input. If you are going to grow as a writer, you are going to need more influences than great books. You’re going to need to fill your mind with exciting and fun experiences, music, and more. It is from this well, your ideas spring.

I call this priming the pump. Before any bit of writing goes out into the world countless hours get spent hiking, listening and reading. Input precedes output. We must tend to the things that influence what we create if we want to improve our creative endeavors.

Do Something Every Day

“What you do each day,” Sonia Samone said, “becomes what you did last year.” The truth is, the things you get done, come down to the small habits and routines you do daily. Change and growth are incrementally obtained. The only way I know to get something written is to sit down and write. There isn’t a hidden formula. You have to actually write.

The things you’re good at in life, take time and practice. Writing is no different. If you want to improve and get more out there into the world, you must consistently write. You need to be writing every day. The time of day isn’t important, time spent writing is.

As I’ve shared, I write daily. Writing daily doesn’t mean publishing daily. I write many things that will never see the light of day, most of it for good reason. For every one good page of writing, I stumble upon, there are dozens of terrible ones. You don’t get to write only good things, often the road to the good runs through the bad along the way.

“You always throw out your first pancake,” Seth Godin said, “so get cooking.” Don’t let a few mangled sentences and dry prose stop you, keep at it. Show up every day committed to your task. Do the work required. If writing is an inspired thing, make yourself easy for inspiration to find. Consistency is inspiration’s best friend; they hang out a lot.  

Don’t Think About the Final Product

Few things suck the life out of the act of writing or creative work quite like the tyranny of the finished product. You have this picture of what it’ll look like, what people will say about it and even how it’ll improve your reputation. No wonder you tighten up and have trouble finding the ‘right’ words. You’re so concerned with the final product, that you can’t get anything done.

Pay little attention to your finished product while working. Get your idea on paper or canvas. Vomit it all up on the page, every last piece. Once you’ve got it all out there, you can then go about the work of crafting it. The best way I know to write is to work without the end in mind. I don’t develop any preconceived notions of what completion will mean.

What I’ve given you here is one aspiring writer’s guide. It isn’t definitive or even groundbreaking. It’s a quick run through a few of the habits and routines I use for writing.

1. Get up early

2. Read a lot

3. Write every day

4. Don’t focus on the final product

These four steps have helped me grow and develop as a writer. It's my hope they’ll do the same for you, whatever your creative goals may be.

5 Ways To Fend Off The Deadly Burnout Monster

Hannah and I work a lot. Our schedule is filled with photo shoots, client meetings, mentor sessions, and more. Few days pass without us having something. We closed out 2016 busier than ever before, not taking a day off for nearly two months. The blistering pace we run often has our calendar busting at the seams, leaving just enough room for friends, family and community group have to be fit in where room is left on the slate.

Working too much is a trap you can quickly fall into when you’re self-employed. Since you don’t have a boss screaming down your neck and passing out deadlines like pezz, you fulfill that role by rarely give yourself enough slack—you know how every ounce of your time is spent after all. When you love what you do, this is especially true. When work is something you enjoy, it doesn’t feel like work. You lose yourself in it, forget the time, and look up only to realize it’s 9:30pm and you haven’t had anything to eat since lunch. Do this too often however, and it can lead to burnout.

Burnout appears to be an American problem. As American’s we glorify work. The 20 something launching a startup who works 90 hours a week, is a hero. The same goes for the normal bloke with a job, and mouths to feed. Ask anyone how they are, and you’ll no doubt receive a list of all that they are doing—completely ignoring that you asked how not what. Busy, busy, busy. It’s a badge of honor. I haven’t traveled abroad nearly enough but, I don’t read of workers in Spain, Italy or Nicaragua struggling with burnout. There is something unique to the American experience going on here.

Our obsession with work has led to amazing achievements and ushered in wave after wave of breakthrough and progress, but it also has an ugly side. Parents regularly work so much their children never see them. Many do so until they end up sick or worse. Robin Williams’ character in Hook is the perfect example. He worked and worked and worked, missing Jack’s baseball games and leaving a dad shaped hole in the lives of his wife and two children. His situation was so off the rails he had to become Peter Pan in order to figure things out and put his life back in order.

Sacrificing family at the altar of success isn’t worth it. Neither is working so feverishly that you end up wearing a paper gown that splits down the back. Your family and your health are important to you. I don’t see you arguing with me on that point. But what about your mental health. Isn’t that just as valuable?

You wouldn’t drink poison—at  least I hope not—but many of you will run and run and run until you hit a wall. You’ll run until you ‘just can’t take it anymore.’ You’ll lose control, swerve and hit the guardrail going 110. Bits of glass, and plastic will go flying through the air and come to rest among the gravel and blood on the roadside. At least that’s how I picture it in my mind. All momentum, and forward progress will stop as you throw up your hands and want to quit. That’s what we call burnout.

Burnout isn’t a pretty sight to behold, but unless you do something to fend it off, you’ll most likely experience it in the not too distant future.

Hannah and I have reached that point far too many times. We used to reach the point of burnout at least once a year early on, in fact. It was debilitating. We wouldn’t want to think about work, much less actually go in the office. We were letting work take over our lives. It was what we talked about on date nights, and what we thought about around the clock, no wonder it was crushing at times.

Since then we’ve decided to do something about it by coming up with a strategy to keep burnout at bay. Like any good game plan it’s two fold—offense and defense. We’ve implemented both solid defensive measures to slow burnouts roll, as well as positive forward moving steps to beat it to the punch.  

1.) Schedule your day, setting time limits for each task on your to-do list. You can write this out on paper, log it on your calendar or use a task manager, but the important thing is that you sit down and think through your day ahead of time. If you don’t plan your day, someone will plan it for you. When you’re making your plan, schedule what you’re best at, for when you’re at your best. Then set a window of time for each project. Maybe two hours here, 30 minutes there, so that you move throughout your day in control of it not the other way around.

2.) Do more than one thing. Bounce from one project to another throughout the day. If what you’re currently working on gets boring or starts to grate on you, drop it for a while and do something else. When you get tired of that, switch back to your first project. You’ll still be getting stuff done, but without feeling like you’re beating your head against the wall.

3.) Take a day off, maybe two. Your mind and your imagination have to recharge. They can’t keep going forever without a reset. Schedule time off into your regular routine. Go for a walk, spend time with your family, and enjoy a bit of time away from your work.

4.) Begin each day in God’s Word. People still call this a quiet time every now and then, but it can be as noisy as you’d like. Plug in your headphones, crank up some Shane & Shane and start your day reading the Bible. No discipline is more important than reading God’s Word. It is the most transforming practice available to us. We face trouble, temptation and pressure every day. God’s Word provides just the encouragement, guidance and instruction we need to face the day.      

5.) Have other irons in the fire. Have creative outlets and hobbies that recharge you. Whether it’s painting, reading a book, or writing a story, find another creative endeavor that fills your warms your soul and breathes life into your lungs. You’ll find, the side projects often lead to new and exciting opportunities for your “real work.”

“All advice,” Austin Kleon said, “is autobiographical.” It peels back the layers and gives you the path previously walked by its giver. Hopefully this foray into our world and how we fight burnout will help and inspire you to turn and face the challenge head on, before it forces you off the road.